Learn to be Lonely
by xmywastedyouth
Summary: SasuNaru AU  "Don't you see?" Hinata whispered to the empty space where Naruto once stood. "You're just like him, Naruto. Lonely." A story of betrayal, revenge, love and - above all else - loneliness.
1. When September Ends

Title: Learn to be Lonely.  
Summary: "There is no worse pain than that of a broken heart," Naruto explained with a vulpine grin. Breaking Sasuke Uchiha's heart should be a piece of cake. Right?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but a girl can dream, right?

* * *

**September**

_Summer has come and passed, the innocent can never last. Wake me up when September ends._

**xx**

"Watch where you're going, _loser_!"

Naruto side-stepped the group of students leaving the old library, a scowl set on his face at the insult. He should be used to it by now; all day, every day students would call him names and trip him up in the corridors. It was always much worse at the beginning of the school year; the other students of Konoha High (nicknamed Leaf because of the school emblem - a tree losing its leaves in autumn) were always much less forgiving after six weeks of no bullying. It was as though they felt the need to make up for lost time. It made Naruto feel sick to his stomach. Why him? Why did they choose to target _him_ when he'd done nothing wrong? Nothing he could _control_ anyway.

He hadn't always been considered a loser. Five years ago he'd been something close to popular. With his bright smile and even brighter personality it was hard not to get along with him. Naruto thrived in social situations, he was what most people considered a 'social butterfly'. But then his best friend turned against him, told everyone all his deepest secrets, completely humiliated him, and they were quick to turn against him too.

The old library was usually empty and quiet - that was the reason Naruto had chosen to go there - because most people preferred the newly refurbished library at the other side of school. Naruto pulled a face at the stench of stale books overwhelming his senses and took a seat at the back table. He hoped that Juugo and Suigetsu had forgotten his little prank from the end of last year and wouldn't come looking for him...

As much as Naruto accepted his fate, accepted that he was the loser of the school, he couldn't allow himself to stand by and do nothing in retaliation. Fighting was out of the question - he couldn't risk being kicked out of school so close to the end - so he settled for childish pranks. Even if he got his ass kicked it would be worth it to know he hadn't been a complete push-over.

Naruto looked up as the doors to the library creaked open. His breath caught in his throat. _Please don't be Juugo, please don't be Juugo_... He released his breath in a sudden whoosh of air and grinned at the sight of his best friend. Shikamaru Nara. Shika had started at Leaf only a couple of years ago and he was one of the few people willing to spend time with him. He found following the crowd too 'troublesome'. In fact, he found most things too troublesome. He was extremely intelligent but extremely lazy. Naruto had met him in Psychology and they had become best friends soon after.

"Naruto," Shikamaru greeted with a nod of his head. A moment later he'd collapsed into the chair next to the blonde boy, burying his head into his arms.

Chuckling at the act of laziness, Naruto prodded the lazy boy on the shoulder. "Shikaaa!" He sing-songed. "Don't fall asleep. You need to help me with the Psychology project, remember?"

"Fuck off. I'm resting my eyes." Was his only response.

There was silence for a while as Naruto lost himself to his thoughts and Shikamaru continued to 'rest his eyes'. Finally the lazy boy spoke again. "Did you hear about Hinata?" He asked carefully. Naruto had always been extremely protective of Hinata. She had stood up for him when the bullying first started, despite being a shy well-mannered girl she was more than able to speak her mind when it came to defending her friends. Hinata had never said a bad word against him and for that Naruto would always be thankful.

Predictably, Naruto's eyes lit up at the name and he shifted his gaze back to Shikamaru. "Nope!" He replied, popping the P loudly with his lips. "What about her?" He asked.

Shikamaru gave a sad smile. "Sasuke Uchiha," he said simply. It was all the explanation required. Sasuke was known for using girls, charming them into bed and then leaving them the moment they dared speak of love.

Naruto laughed loudly, the sound echoing around the abandoned library. It sounded painfully desperate to Shikamaru's ears. When the blonde boy spoke, his voice was firm and he sounded confident. "Hinata wouldn't get involved with that bastard."

Shikamaru replied solemnly, "But she _did_."

There was a beat of silence and Shikamaru watched the rage that flashed through Naruto's blue eyes. Hate for Sasuke had always been there in the blonde, though Shikamaru didn't know the reason why, and after this revelation that hatred had only intensified. "How did you-"

"Find out? Let's just say Neji wasn't a very happy bunny when he found out. Uchiha has a bruise the size of a small country on his face."

Naruto's lips quirked up into a tiny smile. The thought of Sasuke's flawless face being damaged made him feel a little better. "He deserves a lot worse..." Shikamaru nodded his head in agreement.

"Do you want a game or something?" Shikamaru asked suddenly.

He had noticed the way Naruto's eyes had drifted towards the old chess which was set up at the front of the library. It wasn't the first time he'd noticed Naruto staring at it either but he couldn't figure out _why_. There was nothing special about the set and Shikamaru could see nothing fascinating about the cheap pieces. Naruto shook his head slowly in reply and tore his gaze away from the badly-crafted wooden pieces. "Oh...I don't play..." Not anymore.

**xx**

It was a week into the school year before Juugo and Suigetsu finally caught up with Naruto. They had been chasing him all week but the blonde proved to be a hard fish to catch and successfully avoided them by hanging out in all the less popular spots in school. But they had grown wise and followed him from his fourth lesson to the old library at lunch where they cornered him.

"We've been looking for you."

Naruto allowed a sarcastic smile to curve onto his lips. He was scared of what they could do to him but refused to submit to them. "Oh really? How _flattering_."

Juugo's eyes narrowed, his hands clenched into angry fists and Suigetsu had to hold him back to stop him from punching the smile clean off Naruto's face. Naruto watched the exchange, amused and not even bothering to hide it. "Why you little-"

Naruto interrupted the threat with a chuckle. "I must say your new hair colour is brilliant. Now you're just as blonde as me, _blondie_!" He couldn't help but feel a sense of pride at how well his prank had turned out. Even after six weeks their hair was still a bright shade of yellow, even brighter than Naruto's own hair. Adding yellow dye to the shampoo in the sports showers had been his best idea yet. Maybe now they would stop calling him blondie all the time.

Juugo's face turned the same shade of red his hair had once been. He glared viciously at Naruto. "You'll pay for this, loser." There was a promise to his voice.

Naruto watched the duo leave, exhaling with relief. He had been expecting much worse when they finally caught up with him. A few broken bones at the very least. No, this time he'd gotten off lightly and he couldn't help but be suspicious. Were they planning to catch him with his guard down later on in the year?

"You shouldn't wind them up like that, Naruto. You're making dangerous enemies," A timid voice warned.

"Hinata?" Naruto was surprised to see the violet-eyed girl back in school so soon after what had happened. She looked truly awful. Her dark hair was mussed and the dark circles around her eyes told of many sleepless nights. Naruto felt a pang of sympathy for the girl he considered as close as a sister.

Hinata gave him a gentle, reassuring smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Hello Naruto."

The urge to hug her went ignored; Naruto felt that if he touched her she would surely break. There had always been something so fragile and delicate about the Hyuuga girl. "Are you..." He trailed off, unsure of how best to phrase the question he wanted to ask. Was she OK? Of course she wasn't.

Hinata, sensing his inner turmoil, answered his half-question to the best of her ability. "I will be." There was no point in lying. Right now she was anything but OK; she was sleep-deprived and heartbroken.

Naruto felt proud. No matter what the bastard had put her through Hinata was still able to see hope for the future. That was where her real strength lay - in understanding and love and hope. "Good. I'm glad." He really was. But that didn't make him any less angry for what Sasuke had done to her.

"You... Shouldn't blame him," Hinata said, faltering slightly in her words as she saw Naruto's face harden. "Please, Naruto, you need to forgive him..." She wasn't just talking about what he'd done to her.

Naruto shook his head, blonde spikes falling into his eyes. "I do blame him. I will always blame him." His blue eyes softened as he gazed at her, taking in her determination and strong will that was once hidden behind stuttered words and pretty blushes. "He _used_ you."

Violet eyes grew sad and distant. Naruto swallowed his guilt. "Yes. He used _both_ of us but..." She stared past him out of the window, watching as a bird made a nest in a nearby tree. "I saw something in him that wasn't..." She frowned, struggling to find the right words. Her eyes returned to meet his. "He's sad, Naruto, so sad. And so _lonely_."

"That doesn't give him the right!" Naruto snapped. His voice was so loud and filled with anger the bird quickly flew away, leaving a half-built nest behind. "He isn't worthy of your forgiveness..."

"I haven't-" Hinata started to deny.

Naruto interrupted her, voice surprisingly gentle. "But you will. You always do. You wouldn't be Hinata if you didn't."

Hinata stayed silent, not knowing what to else to say. She wasn't the type to hold grudges, she would eventually move on with her life but Naruto... He had held his grudge against Sasuke for so long it was eating away at him, destroying his innocence and corrupting him slowly. Her brow furrowed with worry but at that moment the bell rung, signalling the start of last lesson. Hinata watched sadly as Naruto left the library without another word or a glance back at her.

"Don't you see?" She whispered to the empty space where Naruto once stood. "You're just like him, Naruto. Lonely."

**xx**

"Waaah! Sasukeeee!"

Naruto tried his best to drown out the noise and focus on studying for the group project he was working on with Shikamaru. They were doing a study which explored the scientific explanation for love and lust and its effects on the human mind and body. Psychology had always been something that interested Naruto - he found it fascinating how easy it was to manipulate the brain into feeling certain emotions.

As the noise continued Naruto found his attention drifting away from the project. He found himself peeping through a gap in the bookshelf, watching as Sakura grabbed Sasuke's arm desperately. "I thought you l-loved me!" She wailed, clinging to him like a monkey.

Naruto noticed Shikamaru look up from his book curiously, also listening to the conversation. Sasuke's voice was loud and cruel as he manouvered himself from the pink-haired girl's tenacious grip. "You thought wrong, Haruno. You were nothing more than an easy lay..."

The blonde found himself wincing along with Sakura at the cruel words. It was painful to listen to. Had Hinata gone through the same thing? He closed his eyes, remembering a time when he'd looked at Sasuke with the same adoring eyes.

_"Hey, Sasuke? Am I your best friend?"_

He had been so innocent and naive to believe that someone like Sasuke liked _him_. He trusted him, told him everything... Loved him.

_"I want to tell you something... Just promise that you won't tell anybody else and you won't hate me for it."_

Naruto drew in a deep, shuddering breath as the memories of their friendship flooded through his mind. He had admired Sasuke, saw him as a hero, but then he'd been betrayed in the worst possible way.

_"I thought I was your f-friend!"_

His eyes opened, hatred reflecting in the blue depths.

_"You thought wrong, Uzumaki."_

They narrowed towards the Uchiha boy. Years had passed, five long years, and Sasuke never spoke to him again. But Naruto couldn't forget - couldn't forgive him for the betrayal. He never would.

Turning back to his friend, Naruto whispered, "I feel like punching him but I don't want to risk being kicked out of school."

"Emotional pain is much worse than physical pain," Shikamaru pointed out. He waved a hand towards the sobbing pink-haired girl as though to demonstrate his theory.

"I wonder if anyone has ever broken _his_ heart."

Shikamaru replied bitterly, "Does he even have a heart to break?" He'd had a grudge against Sasuke ever since the stoic boy had stolen the affections of Ino Yamanaka - the girl he'd been crushing on ever since he'd arrived at Leaf. Sasuke had no real interest in Ino and one day she would be used like the rest of them. Shikamaru was determined to stop that from happening. He'd tried countless times to make Ino see sense but his words fell on deaf ears. His only real hope was for Sasuke to stop his heart-breaking ways. There wasn't much hope at all.

Blue eyes sparkled mischievously. Naruto ignored Shikamaru's bitter response in favour of putting forth an idea. "Well... If nobody has rejected him before, maybe it's about time they did."

Shikamaru's eyes narrowed. "Just what are you suggesting?" He asked the cunning blonde.

Naruto leant forward and eagerly told him the whole plan.

**xx**

"How about we run through the plan one last time?" Shikamaru suggested, clapping his hands together.

Naruto nodded his head in agreement. "It couldn't hurt!"

"Ayame," Shikamaru nodded towards a young brunette woman, caked in make-up who looked uncomfortable in the short black dress she was wearing. "You will approach Uchiha when he enters the cafe and strike up a conversation with him." Ayame nodded her head.

Naruto took over the run-through. "He'll make a move - who _wouldn't_ with you dressed like that? - and you'll turn him down. Got it?" Ayame nodded her head once again, a light blush on her cheeks from the compliment.

Catching sight of Sasuke walking towards the cafe, Shikamaru propped a menu up on the table which concealed him and Naruto from view. "Positions everyone!" He ordered, like a director of a movie.

Ayame quickly stumbled to her feet, staggering clumsily to the door in her heels. Both Naruto and Shikamaru winces as she lost her footing and fell down in front of Sasuke's feet. The dark-haired boy who'd just entered the cafe looked at the girl impassively. Just as he was about to step past her, Ayame squeaked, "G-Good afternoon, Sasuke!"

Shikamaru nudged Naruto's arm to get his attention. "Are you sure this is going to work? She sounds just like Sakura!"

"Shh! She'll be fine. Ayame isn't the sorta girl to whore herself out..."

They watched in silence as the Uchiha made his move and Ayame - "What?" Naruto blurted, struggling to keep his voice down. A few customers looked their way but luckily Sasuke wasn't one of them.

Shikamaru hushed him, a finger raised to his lips but Naruto was unwilling to stay quiet.

"I can't believe this! She's leaving with him!"

"I guess the plan failed then..."

"Yeah..." Naruto sighed, placing a cheek in his hand as he watched the pair walk out of the cafe, holding hands.

Shikamaru stood up from the table and extended a hand for Naruto who used it to pull himself up. "Well I guess this is why they say if you want something done you should do it yourself."

Naruto blinked and a grin spread across his face. "Maybe I should!"

For a long moment, Shikamaru stared at him. He half-expected Naruto to start laughing or claim it was a joke but the blonde simply stared back at him. "Are you being serious?" He asked.

"Well... Why not?" Naruto challenged. "I'm a Psychology student! I know much more about seduction and manipulating emotions than any girl."

Shikamaru snorted. "Sasuke Uchiha isn't gay." His brows furrowed as he added, "Naruto... _You're_ not gay!"

Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "So? It's not like I seriously plan to date him. I just want him to know how it feels to not get his own way for once."

"But why go through all the effort of breaking his heart? Surely there's another way for you to get revenge..."

"It's like you said. Emotional pain is much worse than physical pain and there's no worse emotional pain than that of a broken heart."

**xx**

"You're failing, Naruto."

Naruto stared at the grey-haired teacher in complete shock. "How can I be failing?" He wailed. "I tried so hard on that last test. Believe it!"

"Well... You're not exactly the smartest student-"

"Hey!"

"-and I think it would be beneficial for you to have some extra support."

A frown tugged the corners of Naruto's lips downwards. "You mean like a tutor?" He asked uncertainly.

Kakashi grinned widely, eyes wrinkling at the corners, and nodded his head. "Exactly like that!" He agreed. "However since the school can't afford to fund tutorts you'll be getting help from a fellow student."

Naruto chewed lightly on his bottom lip. No student would be happy about spending time with him. "Do I have a choice?" He asked meekly.

Kakashi's grin seemed to widen as he replied, "No." Naruto rolled his blue eyes and turned to leave the room. Kakashi chuckled at how eager the blonde was to leave. "The next test will decide your overall grade. You need a B or above to pass."

Naruto's eyes widened to the size of saucers as he left the room. He could barely scrape a C grade on a good day so how on Earth was he supposed to get a B or above? He felt like he might faint.

**xx**

Shikamaru wasn't sure how he'd been dragged into Naruto's plans again. The blonde had dragged him to the old library from the lunch hall, leaving behind the sandwich he'd yet to even take a bite out of... And for what?

Naruto waved a gay magazine in front of his eyes. "We're putting this on the table over there and then waiting for Sasuke to come along and read it!" He announced happily.

"What is _wrong_ with you?" Shikamaru asked, pointedly averting his eyes away from the naked men on the cover of the magazine. "How did you even _get_ that?"

Naruto gave him a sheepish smile and scratched the back of his neck. "I... Uh... I bought it but that's not the point!" He replied, an embarrassed blush spreading across his tan cheeks. "Uchiha will be here any minute and when he sees this we'll be watching behind those shelves for his reaction."

Shikamaru looked at his friend blankly. "Remind me why we're doing this again?"

Naruto gave an exasperated sigh. "Because we need to see if Sasuke is attracted to men or not, that's why!" He marched towards the empty table, placed the magazine in clear view before returning to Shikamaru, dragging him by the arm to their hiding place behind the shelves.

"How will we be able to tell?"

"Pupil dilation, heavier or uneven breathing and other - uh - more _obvious_ signs of arousal." Blue eyes lit up as he saw Sasuke entering through the library doors. "He's here!" He announced, nudging Shikamaru's arm a little harder than necessary.

Shikamaru grumbled, rubbing the sore spot on his arm and peering out through the gap in the books. "He's _looking_ at it..." He whispered back. He stared, shocked as Sasuke stared at the magazine, flicking through the pages boredly. Shikamaru had no idea how he could act so casual while looking at porn in school.

"Can you see if his pupils are dilated?" Naruto whispered, squinting his eyes at the raven-haired boy.

A snort left Shikamaru's lips. "It hardly matters..." When he received nothing but a quizzical stare from the blonde, he motioned for the other boy to look _down_. "I think we've already got our answer."

Naruto looked away from Sasuke's crotch and a vulpine grin appeared on his face. "So the plan might actually work?" Shikamaru wasn't sure whether to be amused or scared by the look of excitement on his friend's face.

"I doubt it."

"How come?"

Shikamaru pursed his lips. "Don't take this the wrong way but you're not exactly liked by many people." He tried not to feel guilty as he saw the blonde wince. "So why would he be interested in you?"

Naruto knew it was a reasonable question but he didn't have an answer to give. He tapped a finger against his lips and watched the pale-skinned beauty from across the room. If he could find a way to become his friend, the rest would fall into place but he had nothing in common with Sasuke. Nothing at all.

The plan was put on hold once again.

**xx**

"Uzumaki..."

"Gaara! Where've you been?" Naruto babbled excitedly. He latched onto his long-time friend in an awkward half-hug, half-tackle.

The red-head didn't return the hug but he didn't pull away from it either. He patted the blonde once on the back to show he accepted the gesture. Showing emotions wasn't a strong point for Gaara. Glaring viciously and emitting a murderous aura, on the other hand, was. "Temari has travelled to Konoha to visit my brother and I."

Naruto had only met Temari once. She was quite possibly the toughest girl in the world. Well, maybe not as tough as Sakura. "Well... That's good news. Right?"

Gaara stared at Naruto before replying, "Not really."

Naruto's smile didn't waver. He was used to Gaara's cold demeanour, even around those he considered close friends like Naruto. "I was thinking that you should buy me ramen to make up for ditching on the group project!"

"...Sure."

The smile that was curved onto Naruto's lips grew even wider. Gaara had been his best friend long before Shikamaru had moved to Leaf. He knew everything about the Sasuke situation and he hated the Uchiha with almost as much passion as Naruto did himself.

**xx**

"Sakura..."

"I don't want to!"

"...Saku-"

"I refuse!"

Kakashi stayed silent for a long moment. He couldn't force the girl to tutor Naruto but she was the best person for the job; Naruto needed someone who could motivate him and who better than Sakura Haruno? "He really does need your help, Sakura... Just think about it, OK?" He turned away to stack some papers on his desk, a pleased smile forming on his lips as he noticed the girl had yet to leave.

Sakura chewed lightly on her bottom lip. "I don't want people to know that I'm tutoring the demon..."

Kakashi frowned a bit. "It isn't fair to call Naruto by that name..."

Sakura dismissed his words with a wave of her hand. "But I don't want him to fail. He doesn't deserve that. So if I agree to help him can it be kept a secret?" She asked, green eyes looking up at Kakashi imploringly.

The teacher hesitated. It would be good for Naruto to have a few more friends besides Shikamaru and Gaara but it seemed that nobody was willing to go near him because of the stories they'd heard. No... Not stories - facts, he corrected himself. But still, it was such a shame that somebody as outgoing and sociable as Naruto was left alone for reasons he couldn't control.

"Well?" Sakura pressed, unknowingly interrupting Kakashi's trail of thought.

He nodded once, resigned. "Fine. I trust you can arrange times to meet with him?"

Sakura smiled brightly, green eyes sparkling. "I'll talk to him at the end of the day!"

**xx**

"Ow!" Naruto whined, yanking his arm back and rubbing at the red marks Sakura's fingers had left behind. His eyes gazed around their surroundings and his brow furrowed in confusion. "Um... Sakura? Why are we in a supply closet?" He asked nervously.

Sakura's jade green eyes promised death, making him gulp and utter a quick prayer under his breath. "Shut up! I don't want people to see me talking to _you_!" Naruto tried not to be offended by the way she referred to him with such disgust, as though he was something nasty she'd found on the bottom of her shoe and not another human being. He waited patiently for her to explain. "Kakashi told me you need a tutor," she whispered, listening carefully to make sure nobody was outside the closet door.

Naruto couldn't help but look surprised. "You? Why would you agree to tutor me?" He wondered out loud, forgetting to keep the volume down.

Once again he was subjected to Sakura's death glare and whacked over the head with the back of her hand. Naruto absent-minedly decided he was right about Sakura being tougher than Temari - the girl had super-human strength! "I... I just thought it would look good on my record."

"Right..." Naruto said, clearly not believing her.

Sakura scowled at him. "I'm not doing this because I want to, _demon_. When can we meet up?"

**xx**

Naruto ended up meeting with Sakura most days after school. Neither of them were busy and Naruto had no parents to give him grief for staying out too late. Over the space of two weeks they formed a friendship of sorts. It wasn't perfect; Naruto was still an idiot in Sakura's eyes but she didn't call him a demon again. Gradually, even her hits became less painful. Either Naruto was growing a resistance to her strength or she subconsciously didn't want to hurt him.

At school they didn't acknowledge each other but outside of school they chatted like old friends. "Hey, Sakura?" Naruto asked, slurping his chocolate milkshake. They were at Sakura's house, studying once again.

The pink-haired girl stopped mid-explanation and huffed as she realised Naruto hadn't been paying any attention. "What?" She snapped.

Naruto stirred the straw in his drink absent-mindedly. "I was wondering about you and Sasuke... What exactly happened?"

Sakura opened her mouth and Naruto waited for a shout or an insult but instead she simply sighed softly. "I still love him... But he doesn't care about anyone else but himself. I changed myself so much so I could be good enough for him and yet nothing mattered in his eyes. Ino told me he liked girls with long hair so I grew my hair the longest, wore the shortest skirts and lost all respect in _myself_ trying to get _him_ to respect me!"

Naruto listened to her, blue eyes filled with sympathy as a few tears slid down her cheeks. He didn't want to over-step his boundaries by reaching over to brush them away so he just waited for her to continue talking.

"I realised... Not long ago... That if I had no respect for myself, how could I expect someone else to respect me?" She scoffed, turning her head away to hide the silvery tears from her one-person audience. "Why am I telling _you_ this? People like you don't _love_."

He opened his mouth to say otherwise but the words caught in his throat. Instead he looked down at the text book. "So how do you do this?" He asked, despite already knowing the answer. He wanted to distract her.

It worked.

Sakura sniffled and glanced down at the question. "Idiot," she muttered but the name held affection rather than spite. Her tears dried up as she began explaining. Naruto smiled knowingly at her when her back was turned.

**xx**

It was through pure luck that Naruto found the answer he'd been looking for. It was almost the end of September and both Shikamaru and Gaara had disappeared for the day. With no friends for back-up, Naruto decided to avoid the canteen and instead headed for the old library which was quickly turning into one of his favourite places. With all the cold weather, his normal spot on the school roof had been avoided.

Entering the library, Naruto was surprised to find Sasuke Uchiha sat in front of the chess set, moving the pieces with a serene expression on his face. It didn't take a genius to work out that he was familiar with the game. Who'd have thought the most popular boy in school was secretly a chess geek? An amused smile played on his lips at the thought and he stepped forward.

The creak of the floorboard was loud in the otherwise silent room and Sasuke jumped, dark eyes looking about him wildly. Onyx eyes landed on Naruto and neither boy spoke for what felt like an eternity. Finally, Naruto broke the silence. "So... Chess, huh?" It felt strange to be talking directly to Sasuke after five years of avoiding him. But at the same time it felt familiar.

Sasuke dropped the piece he was holding. It bounced off the edge of the board and rolled under the table. His eyes followed the movement before returning to the blonde in front of him, eyeing him warily. Why was Naruto talking to him now? He had made it clear how much he hated Sasuke after what happened... "You wont tell anybody-" He started.

Amused, Naruto interrupted, "I _might_."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes and repeated his earlier words in a firm tone which left no room for argument. "You _won't_ tell anybody about this." He turned to leave, his mood turning sour. Naruto's next words made him hesitate in the doorway.

"I like chess too, y'know, teme!"

"Nobody cares what you like or dislike... Dobe."

Naruto watched him leave. After a moment he reached down to pick up the fallen chess piece. It was a pawn. His thumb stroked over the rough wood absent-mindedly. Maybe now that he knew one of Sasuke's interests he could use it as an excuse to get close to him.

His fingers closed around the pawn and a smile spread across his whiskered face. "I can't wait for you to feel the pain you cause, _teme_..."

**end chapter 1**

* * *

**xx**

A/N: OK, this is my third attempt at writing this story but you know what they say about the third time being lucky. I looked through all of my reviews and took note of what you guys considered to be 'problem areas'. I sat down for days and slowly started to fill in all the holes in the plot until it eventually turned into a completely different story. I was going to wait until I'd completely finished writing the story before publishing this but I decided that the people reading this story deserved _something_. I don't know when I'll next update but I do know that, as of now, LTBL is no longer discontinued.

**Q. Why does Naruto come up with the plan?**  
_A. He wants revenge. The Naruto in this story can hold a grudge for a long time. I tried for a long time to come up with something more logical for why he would come up with the plan or go along with it but in the end I realised that for this plot to work - Naruto will always have to be a little OOC. There isn't a logical reason for why you'd want to break someone's heart - Naruto isn't _thinking _logically._


	2. Kingdoms rise, Kingdoms fall

Title: Learn to be Lonely  
Summary: "There is no worse pain than that of a broken heart," Naruto explained with a vulpine grin. Breaking Sasuke Uchiha's heart should be a piece of cake. Right?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but a girl can dream, right?

* * *

**October**

_October. And kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall but you go on. And on._

**xx**

Naruto wrapped the threadbare, orange scarf tighter around his neck. The weather was growing colder, a sure sign that winter was fast approaching. The trees were naked without their leaves, only a few remained desperately clinging to the branches. The blue-eyed boy watched with fascination as yet another leaf fell from a nearby tree, spiralling down to the floor where it collected with the others in a blanket of autumn colours.

"Brrrr!" He shivered, rubbing his cold pink hands together in a feeble attempt to warm them some. "Aren't you cold at all, Gaara?"

The red-haired boy who walked beside him stared impassively and sighed. "You're being dramatic again, Naruto. It's not cold. 7 degrees at the very least."

With a small pout clinging to his chapped pink lips, Naruto muttered sarcastically, "And who are you? The _weather man_?"

Gaara's lips twitched but didn't quite form a smile. His pace picked up as the late bell rang out through the yard. "No. I'm just a better Meteorologist than you."

"What's a Meteor- thingy?" Naruto asked, not really expecting an answer from his stoic friend. He didn't get one. "Hey! Wait up, Gaara. I've got shorter legs than you, damnit!"

**xx**

Once again, Juugo and Suigetsu managed to corner Naruto in the old library. It was becoming a regular occurance. Perhaps the blonde would need to find a new hiding place or something. Huffing dramatically - for no other reason than to piss the other two boys off even more - Naruto marked the page he was up to in his book. He was becoming more and more fascinated by human mind and behaviour. He took a particular interest in emotions and how love, lust and attraction were formed by hormones and chemicals in the body.

"Well, if it isn't the Narutard!" Suigetsu sniggered, crossing his arms over his chest with a menacing sneer.

Naruto scoffed at the insult. "How very original. Did you think of that all by yourself?"

Juugo, having caught sight of the book in Naruto's hands, quickly reached forward to snatch it from him. "What's this, loser? Trying to make someone fall in love with you or something?" He laughed cruelly.

Naruto nearly smiled. Juugo was so close to the truth and he didn't even realise it. Of course, his plan to get revenge on Sasuke wasn't the real reason he was reading that particular book but the information it held would definitely come in handy. Naruto hadn't forgotten about his plot of revenge but he had all the time in the world to slowly worm his way into the Uchiha's heart. There was no rush. "Now you mention it, I was just about to start brewing a love potion before you guys came along and rudely interrupted."

Suigetsu's lips curled up in disgust. "Ha! Nobody could ever love a demon like you."

Naruto shrugged his shoulders and pretended the cruel words didn't affect him at all. He refused to break down in front of them. Neji could keep sending his goons to torment him to his heart's content but Naruto would never give him the satisfaction of knowing it _hurt_. That the insults and abuse were slowly tearing him apart. "Are you finished? I mean, you should probably go and report back to Princess- I'm sorry, _Hyuuga_ now."

Juugo's eyes narrowed and his fist clenched into a tight fist. Naruto eyed it warily. "You have no right to insult Neji, you fucking demon!" He bit out through clenched teeth and Naruto had to admit that, for two people who'd been forced into doing Neji's dirty work, they sure were loyal to him.

"If he didn't want me to insult him he would get a hair-cut. I mean, seriously, it's longer than Hinata's! He's just a prissy little girl-"

Naruto swore that he saw Juugo's eyes flash red right before he lunged at him. After that, all he could focus on was the pain of the punches and the desperate mantra he clung to in his head. Don't fight back, _don't fight back_...

The edges of his vision slowly began to blur and when the darkness finally came Naruto welcomed it with open arms.

**xx**

It was a few days after his beating that Naruto returned back to school. Entering the first class of the day, he ignored the curious eyes of his classmates and made his way over to his desk. He gingerly sat himself down in the chair next to Shikamaru, taking care not to aggravate any of his injuries. His entire body was sore and it wasn't the only thing to take a beating - Naruto's pride was bruised, too, and he wondered if it would ever recover.

After seeing Neji's smug and satisfied smirk that morning he found himself wishing he'd done something. Anything. But if he was to give into his rage he would be proving them all right; they already thought that he was a monster, a demon and he didn't want to give them any more proof of that. Even if he fought out of self defence, they wouldn't see it that way.

Shikamaru gave a soft whistle as he inspected the damage. Naruto's entire face was covered in bruises and it was a miracle that his nose wasn't broken. "What did you say to piss Neji's goons off this time?" He asked curiously.

Naruto smirked and then winced at how tender his face was. He'd have to keep the smiling down to a minimum for a while. "I called Neji a prissy little girl." Shikamaru laughed and pushed his book across the table so that Naruto could copy the work he'd missed during his absence.

Half an hour into the lesson, Naruto's brow furrowed. He could feel somebody watching him but each time he turned around to look everybody was focussed on the work they'd been set. The blonde shifted slightly in his seat and paused when he caught onyx eyes staring directly at him from the corner of his eye. A small smile curved onto his lips at the attention. He'd definitely made an impression - good or bad, it didn't matter - if Sasuke had taken to staring at him in class. "Hey... Shika? I'm thinking of putting the plan into action soon."

Shikamaru looked up from his work and held back a sigh. He wasn't sure if this was such a good idea but the blonde could be incredibly stubborn. "Do you honestly think it has a chance of working?"

Naruto tapped the end of his orange pencil against the surface of the desk. "I've already done a month's worth of research. It's just like our project. Three simple stages - lust, attraction and then - eventually - love."

"So the plan is basically to dress hot and form some sort of connection with him?" Shikamaru questioned with an eyebrow raised. He couldn't help but be somewhat skeptical.

With a roll of his eyes, Naruto snorted. "I though you were into all this mind-fuck stuff? It's a whole lot more complicated than that. The first step is for me to program his subconscious mind into accepting me as a constant part of his life."

Shikamaru blinked stupidly.

Normally Naruto was the clueless one but now the tables were turned. When the blonde was passionate about something he would make sure to learn everything there was to know about it. Shikamaru found himself torn between encouraging his friend and convincing him to give up. Part of him wanted to see Sasuke suffer, to get revenge on the boy who'd stolen Ino's heart which was rightfully his (at least in _his_ mind it was), and see if Naruto really could trick a person into loving him using his knowledge of the human-mind. But he had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was bound to go wrong...

Looking at the determination that shone clear in Naruto's startlingly blue eyes, Shikamaru found himself unable to say anything at all. He turned silently back to his work, his brows furrowed in deep contemplation.

**xx**

To say that Sasuke Uchiha was angry was an understatement. He was furious, filled with so much rage he was sure it would eventually bubble over and destroy everything in his path. Namely, Neji Hyuuga. When Naruto walked into class, covered from head to toe in bruises he'd been shocked and overwhelmed with emotions he'd successfully ignored for the past five years. No matter how much he told himself he didn't care...

He did.

Finding Neji wasn't hard and Sasuke found himself wondering if maybe the Hyuuga _wanted_ to be found. The thought didn't stop him from approaching, though. "Hyuuga," he spat.

The long-haired boy looked up and a smirk spread across his features. "Uchiha. Is something wrong?"

Sasuke grabbed him by the collar and pushed him back against the wall. Neji's smirk only increased in size. "You _promised_ that you would stay away from him!" He snapped, his black eyes seeming to flash red in the midst of his anger.

"Yes... Well, after _five years_ a deal can become a little blurred around the edges. And after that little stunt you played with my cousin it seemed fitting that I pay you back."

"He was my best friend..."

"Was, being the operative word in that sentence."

Sasuke couldn't argue with that. No matter how much he wanted to.

**xx**

Putting the first step of his plan into action, Naruto headed straight for the old library at lunch. He didn't plan to talk to Sasuke, just sit nearby until the other boy got used to him being around. Through constant repetition of this, Sasuke's subconscious mind would begin to accept Naruto as a constant in his life. It didn't matter if the recognition was good or bad - as long as Sasuke was thinking about him.

Arriving at the old library, Naruto was somewhat disappointed to find that Sasuke was not there. Hinata was. The pale-eyed girl was sat at a table, playing absent-mindedly with the pieces on the chess board.

Naruto wasn't sure what to say. Their last encounter hadn't exactly ended on a positive note. "Hinata..." He sighed.

A soft smile curved onto Hinata's lips as she looked up at him. "I thought I would find you here. I have something to give you."

Naruto tilted his head to the side, an action that made him look almost like a curious puppy. "Oh?"

Hinata reached down and rummaged through her bag. When she straightened up again she was holding a familiar book in her hand. "When I found out what Neji did I got your book back for you..."

Naruto made no move to take back the book and Hinata made no move to give it to him. An awkward, tense silence washed over them until Hinata's soft voice broke it, "It's a rather interesting choice of book." Her voice was innocent and unaccusing but the knowing look in her pale eyes made Naruto feel uneasy. It was almost as though those eyes could see into his very soul and read his mind as easily as the book in her hands.

Clearing his suddenly dry throat, Naruto mumbled, "It's for a group project. Me and Shika are doing a study on the human mind and behaviour." He wasn't quite sure why he felt the need to explain himself to her.

Hinata didn't even try to mask her look of disbelief. She slid the book across the table towards him and watched as he quickly put it in his own bag, all the while avoiding her suspicious gaze. "You know..." Hinata started gently. "Sasuke likes coming in here a lot, too... But you already knew that. Right?"

Naruto chewed nervously on his bottom lip. He could tell from her words that she had him figured out. How did she put the pieces together so easily? "Hinata..." He began but the look in her eyes made him fall silent once again.

"I hope you know what you're getting yourself into," she said simply. Naruto watched as she left, dark hair flowing behind her like a cape.

**xx**

"You're in my seat."

"I don't see your name on it." Naruto didn't bother to look up. He could recognise that arrogant voice anywhere. Even after five years it was so damned familiar to him.

"You obviously aren't looking closely enough then, loser. Move. _Now_."

With a heavy sigh, Naruto lifted himself off the chair only to drop back down into the chair next to it. He shifted his blue-eyed gaze to Sasuke and glared. "Happy now?" He bit out, continuing to glare heatedly. Sasuke had always been a bastard - even when they were 'friends' - but the past five years had only improved his bastard-like skills and now he was a complete ice prick. Not that Naruto cared.

Sasuke sat down in the newly-vacated seat and proceeded to line up the chess pieces. He didn't reply.

After a while Sasuke began to feel unnerved by Naruto being there. The blonde was sat so close and he was watching every move he made. Sasuke felt suffocated. "What are you staring at demon?" He snarled. "Don't you have anything better to do?" The insult sounded half-hearted even to his own ears. He'd always struggled to pretend he didn't care when around Naruto. Even after the past five years of practice. But then again, the blonde had always made sure to avoid him... Until now.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "I can do what I like, bastard."

Sasuke took a deep breath to calm himself. He glanced at Naruto one more time before returning to his game. "Whatever. Do what you want. Just don't distract me."

Naruto rested his head on the table and stayed there for the rest of lunch. The only sounds were that of chess pieces being moved across the board. Being around Sasuke wasn't so bad, he found, when there wasn't any talking.

**xx**

Sakura twirled a long strand of her bubblegum pink hair around her finger. They were sat in Naruto's apartment this time as her parents had kicked up a fuss about how often Naruto came over. A lot had changed in a month; they were both more comfortable around the other and they acted like good friends. They were good friends. And as long as nobody found out about their new friendship, Sakura was content.

"Your bruises have mostly faded now," Sakura announced happily as she poked Naruto's face, much to his obvious displeasure.

After his beating Naruto had been sent home to recover. Knowing that Naruto had no parents to take care of him, Sakura took things into her own hands. She acted like a nurse, treating his injuries and fussing over him. Naruto couldn't stop thanking her for her kindness and it made Sakura sad to know that he wasn't used to people treating him nicely.

Naruto swatted Sakura's hand away from his face, grimacing as she prodded a particularly tender spot on his jaw. "Sakuraaa!" He wailed, jutting out his lips into a pout. Sakura merely giggled at him. The work books were left, forgotten, on the floor. "D'ya wanna watch a movie?" The blonde asked excitedly.

Sakura glanced at the clock. It was getting late and she really should be heading home but... "Sure." Another hour or so couldn't hurt.

**xx**

Sasuke groaned as he caught sight of a familiar head of blonde hair waiting for him in the old library. For the past two weeks, every day without fail, the blonde would be there waiting for him at lunch. Sasuke wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Did Naruto want to be friends after five years of hating him? Was he really that bored and lonely or had he just forgotten about the humiliation that Sasuke had put him through? Somehow, Sasuke doubted it.

A small sigh left his lips as he sat down in front of the chess board and began lining up the pieces. Naruto watched him as always. Sasuke didn't even need to look to know he was watching because he could _feel_ the blue-eyed gaze on him. Always watchimg him.

Half an hour passed in complete silence.

Naruto's eyes had closed at some point and Sasuke wondered if he'd fallen asleep. When did he start thinking about Naruto so much anyway? The blonde didn't even need to say anything to irritate him! Frustrated, Sasuke slammed his fist against the table. Naruto's eyes snapped open in shock but he didn't utter a word. Sasuke surprised himself by speaking. "Do you know why I like chess so much?" He asked. He was staring straight ahead so he missed Naruto shake his head. He continued anyway. "It was the only thing that my brother couldn't beat me at."

Sasuke wasn't sure whether or not he'd expected Naruto to reply but a heavy silence hung over them. The chair scraped loudly across the floor as he stood up and walked towards the doors. "I'll see you tomorrow... Loser."

Naruto chuckled to himself, amazed. Two weeks of boredom had paid off. Sasuke had accepted him into his life, it didn't matter if he was consciously aware of the fact or not. He expected to see Naruto in the library tomorrow. The information about his brother was unexpected and Naruto wasn't sure why Sasuke felt the need to share it with him.

But he was glad that he did.

Progress.

_Finally_.

**xx**

"Are you going to Ino's Halloween party?" Shikamaru blurted.

He had been looking forward to the party since the beginning of the school year. It was the perfect opportunity for him to get close to the girl he was crushing on but he didn't want to turn up alone.

Naruto gave a soft snort. "I doubt it. Nobody would want me there anyway." It wasn't exactly a lie; he would probably have the door slammed in his face if he dared to show up for the party.

Shikamaru placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder in an awkward attempt to reassure or comfort him. It did neither. "I want you there," he told him earnestly. The words made Naruto feel a little better.

"I might turn up... It's a costume party, right?" Shikamaru nodded and Naruto smiled. "Good. I've got an idea for my costume already."

**xx**

"Hey... Sakura?" Naruto asked out of the blue one day. He was absent-mindedly chewing on his orange pencil, oblivious to the look of disgust on his friend's face.

Plucking the pencil from between Naruto's teeth, the pink-haired girl pulled a face and wiped the saliva off her hands. "What?" She grumbled, always impatient when it came to the loud-mouthed blonde. He was like the younger brother she never had - loveable but damned irritating at the same time.

Naruto hesitated before asking, "Are you over Sasuke now?"

"...No," Sakura replied honestly. Her jade green eyes stared down at her hands which were folded on her lap. "I keep seeing him with new, prettier girls and I know I should be angry at him for what he did but... I just feel jealous. If he asked me to be with him again I would accept without a second thought. I love him. I probably always will."

Staring out of the window at the setting sun, Naruto changed the topic of conversation. He hated how upset Sakura would become when Sasuke's name was mentioned but he couldn't help but be curious. "Are you going to Ino's party?"

"Of course. Ino won't stop going on about her plans to finally get her hands on Sasuke."

"I doubt that Shikamaru will let Ino out of his sight."

Sakura sighed wistfully. "Shikamaru is a great guy. Ino should just forget about Sasuke and be with the guy who's loved her all along."

Naruto nudged her arm. "I could say the same thing about you and Lee..."

Sakura shuddered at the thought. Lee had taken a liking for her back in first-year and hadn't left her alone since then. He had a bowl-cut, massive eyebrows and a liking for the colour green and Sakura swore she would never _ever_ accept his offer of a date. "The world will end before I enter a relationship with him!" She vowed.

Naruto laughed and Sakura punched his arm in retaliation.

**xx**

Naruto picked at the hem of his costume nervously. He was dressed up as The Phantom of the Opera, cape and mask and all, for Ino's Halloween party. He felt that he suited his chosen character - both outcasts, both considered to be monsters or demons... Naruto wasn't invited to the party and he certainly wasn't welcome there but Shikamaru wanted him to be there and nothing else mattered. He adjusted the mask which concealed half of his face and grimaced at the amount of gel that held back his blonde hair. Sakura had gone all out on the make-up and hairstyling. He looked like a completely different person.

Gaara knocked on the door as Naruto was too nervous to do so. He hadn't bothered with a costume. Naruto was glad; his best friend looked creepy enough as it was! The door swung open and Ino grinned widely at them. She was wearing a baby-blue bunny costume - if the lacy underwear and bunny ears could be called a costume - and was drinking vodka straight from the bottle. Her dazed eyes stared unfocussed at the pair. "Oh, hi Gaara!" She greeted happily before leering blatantly at the masked Naruto. "Who's your friend? He's hot!"

Naruto almost laughed at the irony of the situation. Gaara's lips quirked up ever so slightly. "Oh, him?" Gaara pretended to think. "This is... Tanrou."

Ino grabbed the startled blonde by the arm and dragged him through into the living area where the music was blasting, babbling excitedly about how his costume was 'awesome' and everything else was too. Gaara followed, stoic-faced but the laughter was obvious in his green eyes.

Naruto soon found that he was enjoying himself. The drinking games were fun and people were too drunk to recognise him as the 'demon boy' from school. Sakura - who was dressed in a bright pink cat costume and looking a tiny bit less slutty than Ino - and Gaara were the only two who knew it was him. Naruto's head was starting to spin from the loud music and flashing lights but he never wanted the night to end.

Was this what life would've been like for him if Sasuke hadn't ruined it all? Would he be popular? Tanrou certainly was.

"Hey Tanrou! Do you wanna, like, head upstairs so we can make the 'music of the night' together?" The red-haired girl with glasses cackled loudly at her own bad joke.

Naruto laughed, feeling strangely giddy from both the alcohol and the atmosphere, and winked playfully back at her. "It's a tempting offer but no thanks." The girl pouted before moving her attention to Gaara, who promptly rejected her with a look of disgust on his face.

"When can we leave?" Gaara asked. He was bored, having never been one for drinking or dancing.

"We haven't even seen Shika yet!"

"He's dancing over there with Ino."

Naruto followed Gaara's finger and squinted at the dancing couple. A grin spread across his lips. Ino was obviously drunk but Shikamaru was sober and smiling lovingly at her as they swayed to the music. It was almost sickening and Naruto was tempted to make gag noises. "Do you think he'll still be smiling when she throws up on his shoes?"

Gaara chuckled. "Looks like there's about to be some trouble in paradise..."

Naruto's grin quickly faded as he watched Sasuke Uchiha approach the happy couple. When had the bastard got there, anyway? He whispered something charming in the blonde girl's ear and she smiled sweetly at him, dropping Shikamaru from her embrace and welcoming Sasuke into it. Naruto really did feel sick as he watched Ino being led upstairs where Sasuke would no doubt take advantage of the drunk girl.

There was a short moment where onyx eyes met with blue and Naruto felt his breath catch in his throat. But the moment passed and Sasuke smirked as he pulled Ino along to the nearest bedroom.

Shikamaru stared longingly after Ino, wanting nothing more than to rescue her from Sasuke's evil clutches. But he couldn't bring himself to move. Ino would never forgive him if he destroyed her one chance with Sasuke, even if she didn't really have a chance to start with.

It was over.

Sasuke had won and Ino was his prize. Until he got bored of her.

Naruto could do nothing but watch helplessly as Shikamaru began to drink himself into oblivion. Gaara tugged on his arm and Naruto turned to face him, feeling a lot more sober after what he'd just witnessed. "Temari will look after him. Let's go home?"

"Let's go home," Naruto agreed.

**xx**

Naruto pulled his cloak tighter around himself as he walked. It was October 31st, Halloween, and fucking freezing in Konoha. But then again, Naruto had always been affected by the cold more than others. Gaara had accompanied him for a small part of the walk but they'd quickly parted ways; the red-head lived in a completely different area of Konoha to the blonde and Naruto refused to be 'walked home'.

Even if the streets of Konoha were _anything_ but safe at this time of night.

Involuntarily, Naruto shivered.

The streets were empty, deserted, and Naruto could hear nothing but the faint sounds of traffic in the distance. He gave a sad smile as he caught sight of his apartment building up ahead, covered in toilet paper and rotten eggs. He wondered which of his neighbours had slammed the door on the trick or treaters.

"Phantom of the Opera. Very nice. My favourite musical in fact."

Naruto's brow furrowed and he followed the voice to a man with fire-truck red hair, which brushed against his broad shoulders, and hazel eyes. Though, in the dim lighting they could very easily be mistaken for amber or gold. "That's nice and all but who the Hell are you?" Naruto asked, immediately defensive. He didn't live in a bad neighbourhood, but it certainly wasn't a good one either.

A deep throaty chuckle escaped the hazel-eyed man. "Does it matter?" Naruto didn't reply, just stared unwaveringly. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a pack of smokes and a lighter. He placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it. The burning embers illuminated his features in the dark, revealing his sharp, angular bone structure and young face. "I like your costume, that's all, you're a cute kid-"

Naruto interrupted him. He'd spent too much of his life around perverts, only ever thinking about one thing. "I won't have sex with you."

With obvious amusement, the man replied, "I wasn't asking you to, _Naruto_."

Naruto stared. He found it hard to trust people. Everybody lied. How did this man, who Naruto had never seen before in his life, know his name and where he lived? "Who are you?" He demanded, blue eyes narrowing.

The man smiled, revealing sharp and pearly teeth. "Kyuubi," he replied simply, words muffled slightly by the obstruction in his mouth. His hazel eyes looked the blonde boy up and down before he turned and began walking away into the night.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Naruto called after him.

"Home," Kyuubi threw back over his shoulder. "It was nice meeting you."

**end chapter 2 **

* * *

**xx**

A/N: Hey guys! So, I updated fairly quickly but I already had 1/3 of this chapter completed when I published chapter 1. I don't know when I'll next be updating, it could be next week or it could be a month from now. I can't write unless I _feel_ like writing, yknow?

**Q. Why should I read this story when you'll probably just leave it incomplete/start again?**

_A. I said I was sorry! People seem to be under the impression that I'm caving to the demands of certain reviewers and re-starting because THEY don't think my work is good enough. That isn't the case. I could see the plot-holes in my story and I knew that it couldn't be fixed without starting over - certain things needed to change that I'd already established in the last version. I didn't want to confuse people by changing things halfway through. I'm happy with this version and I'm really sorry to anybody who preferred the last one but this is MY story and I can't please everyone. So why try? This story will be completed, I don't know how long it'll take but it WILL happen._

So, reviews would be lovely thanks. Nice reviews, that is.

P.S. I think I'm coming down with a cold! Haelp meh! :(


	3. Veiled in Darkness and Disease

Title: Learn to be Lonely.  
Summary: "There is no worse pain than that of a broken heart," Naruto explained with a vulpine grin. Breaking Sasuke Uchiha's heart should be a piece of cake. Right?

Disclaimer: I don't really own Naruto but a girl can dream, right?

**Note: The first part of the story is a flashback/Sasuke's dream about past events. The rest of the story is set in the present day.**

* * *

**November**

_I caress flesh with severed nerves, I go veiled in darkness and disease. This November swallows me whole._

**xx**

:: 5 years ago ::

Sasuke had never seen Naruto look so alive before. The blonde was so happy it was almost painful to witness, knowing what he was about to do. His fox-like grin was blinding and his eyes sparkled bright with energy and un-shed tears of joy. Acceptance - that's what Naruto must have felt, sat amongst so many friends and celebrating his twelfth birthday together with them. Naruto was made to be popular, it was easy to see. He was always smiling, always cheerful and his heart was the purest that Sasuke had ever known. But he wouldn't be smiling or cheerful much longer. He wouldn't be popular anymore. Because Sasuke was going to take all that away from him, rip away all traces of acceptance before Naruto even had the chance to fully embrace the new feeling.

"-Happy birthday, dear Naruto, happy birthday to youuuuu!"

Naruto's bottom lip trembled ever so slightly and Sasuke knew him well enough to know he was struggling to hold back tears. "Thanks guys. This is the best birthday ever, you'd best believe it!" He exclaimed, scratching the back of his neck nervously as so many people watched him. He just wished Sasuke - his best friend - was there.

Kiba nudged his arm with a playful smile. "Dude, this is the part where you blow out the candles!"

Naruto too a deep breath, closed his eyes and extinguished all twelve candles in one try. Everybody cheered but Sasuke stayed silent, watching in the shadows and waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike. Naruto's eyes stayed closed for a long time and his face was scrunched up in concentration as he focussed on making his wish. Sasuke couldn't help but wonder what the blonde was wishing for so desperately. "W-What did you wish for, N-Naruto?" A timid girl called Hinata asked, unknowingly voicing his question. A bright pink blush stained her cheeks as Naruto's eyes opened and gazed directly at her.

Leaning back on his chair with a content smile, Naruto poked his tongue out at her and replied, "I can't tell you that! My wish won't come true if I tell anybody."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw Neji give a small nod. It was time. He stepped forward out of the shadows and immediately Naruto's eyes landed on him. "Teme!" He said happily, obviously pleased to see him. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to show." His blue eyes quickly found the present in Sasuke's hands and they widened in shock. "You even got me a present?" He asked, surprised. His voice was soft and his eyes were filled with an emotion Sasuke wasn't familiar with. Suddenly he was reluctant to hand over the so-called present. He didn't want to be the one to ruin everything, he didn't want to lose Naruto as a friend forever. But what could he do? Neji hadn't left him with much of a choice.

Naruto jumped up out of his seat and trotted over towards Sasuke. He snatched the present out of his hands and examined it, tilting his head to the side curiously. "You got me a book?" He guessed with a loud groan as he felt the familiar shape under his fingers.

Sasuke glanced over at Neji who was watching their interaction carefully, a pleased smile on his lips. He turned back to the blonde and muttered, "Open it."

Naruto didn't need to be told twice. With a small, indifferent shrug he began to tear off the orange paper. A small crowd gathered around him, all eager to see what the rich Uchiha heir had bought for his best friend's birthday. Dropping the ruined paper to the floor, Naruto's eyes scanned the title of the book and he paled. When he looked up at Sasuke there was a clear question of 'why?' in his eyes. "Sasuke," he whispered sadly. "I thought you were my f-friend."

Sasuke directed a glare towards a smirking Nejoi before staring at the ground. He wanted to take it all back or stop now before he ruined their friendship beyond repair but he just couldn't allow himself to suffer the consequences of disobeying Neji's orders. He was being selfish. "You thought wrong, _Uzumaki_."

Kiba looked over Naruto's shoulder at the book. "Um, Naruto why has he given you a book about the Kitsune Killer?" He asked.

Another student pointed out, "Isn't your last name Namikaze? Why is Sasuke calling you Uzumaki?"

A horror-filled gasp from Ino. "Uzumaki is the last name of the Kitsune Killer! Kushina Uzumaki, it says so on the cover! Look!"

Naruto didn't reply, his eyes met with Sasuke's and he drew in a shuddering breath. "Why are you doing this to me?" He whispered brokenly. Sasuke was his best friend, the only person he trusted enough to reveal his past to but now he was being betrayed in the worst possible way. Condemned to a life of being branded the son of a murderor all because he was _stupid_ enough to put his trust in someone he loved more than anyone else. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

Sasuke wanted nothing more than to embrace the now-shaking blonde but he knew the action wouldn't be welcome. Not after the information he'd just revealed. "Because I don't want to be friends with a demon. That's why."

Naruto slowly walked away from his own party, ignoring the whispers that followed him. His friends - most of whom knew people who'd been killed by the Kitsune Killer - glared at him and called him names. They weren't his friends now they knew the truth. Tears slid down his whiskered cheeks but he didn't bother to wipe them away. It was the first time he'd ever cried because of Sasuke and - he swore to himself - it would be the last time.

He would never forget. He would never forgive.

Monster.

Killer.

_Demon_.

**xx**

Ino was a wreck. Normally she would spend hours in front of a mirror, primping and making herself up to look perfect for the day ahead. It didn't matter if she was going out or just heading to school; she needed to look perfect because that was what people expected of her. Today, however, her blonde hair was greasy and scraped back into a messy bun and her eyes were red-rimmed and sore from crying.

She had woken up alone in her bed that morning. The marks on her body, bruises on her hips and bite marks near her neck, were proof of the night she'd shared with Sasuke but, instead of feeling happy like she thought she would, she felt... Cheap. Used. _Stupid_.

Sure, she'd achieved her goal of sleeping with Sasuke but that didn't make him hers. He didn't care about her. He certainly didn't love her. The name which he cried out in the throes of passion wasn't _hers_.

But even if it was... Would it even make a difference? She had fallen in love with the image of Sasuke that she'd created in her head. Not the real Sasuke. Nothing like the real Sasuke.

Shikamaru would call her an idiot for acting like a common whore. She knew he wouldn't mean it to sound insulting. He loved her - like she loved the not-so-real Sasuke - and he expected her to wake up one day and realise that she loved him too. Part of her wished that she could. He was like an older brother to her; protective and always there to pick her up off the ground when she needed him the most. Only, he wasn't there for her now. She was completely alone. Lost. She had spent so long chasing after Sasuke she could barely remember who she was without him.

Shattered glass fell to the floor around her and Ino sobbed, clutching her bloody hand to her chest and clenching her eyes tightly shut. She didn't want to look at the person she'd become for even a moment longer. She didn't want to see the short skirt, the bleached hair or the spray-on tan. It wasn't _her_. It was all so fake. And all for him. "Fuck you, Sasuke Uchiha," she cried out to the empty room, "Fuck you!"

She felt a little better.

**xx**

When Shikamaru woke up his head was pounding and his back was sore from the position he'd slept in. Looking around his surroundings he recognised it as being Gaara's house - had the red-head took him home last night then? Shika couldn't remember much of what happened. Normally he was a lot smarter than this. He wasn't the type to drink. Like so much else in the world, it was too troublesome for him to bother with.

"There's a glass of water and some pain killers on the coffee table next to you."

"Huh?" Shikamaru looked up and found a golden-haired girl smirking at him. Temari. He vaguely recognised her from last night and the few other times she'd visited Gaara.

Temari rolled her eyes at him and repeated, "Water. Pain killers. Table."

Shikamaru was tempted to comment on how troublesome women could be but thought better of it. His gaze shifted to the table where - sure enough - a glass of water and two small pills were waiting for him. Placing both pills on his tongue he tilted his head back and swallowed them with a large mouthful of water. "Done." He said to the girl who was watching him intently.

"Did you have a good night then?" Temari questioned him, walking over to the sofa and pushing his legs off so she could sit down. Shikamaru grumbled about it but reluctantly made room for her.

"Not really. Parties aren't really my thing," Shikamaru replied dismissively.

"You were only there for Ino, right?" Temari smiled at his suspicious gaze. "You talk a lot when you're drunk," she explained.

"What else did I tell you?"

"Not much else."

There was a few minutes of awkward silence. Shikamaru pressed the cool glass against his forehead in an attempt relieve himself of the throbbing headache while he waited for the pain killers to kick in. Finally he spoke softly, "I think I was wrong."

Temari looked at him curiously. "Wrong about what?" She pressed.

Shikamaru closed his eyes and sighed. "Ino. I always thought that I loved her but..." He furrowed his brow, trying to find a way to explain his thoughts.

Placing a comforting hand on his arm, Temari said simply, "I understand."

Shikamaru didn't know how she could possibly _understand_ when he didn't even understand it himself. But the comforting hand on his arm felt nice and he didn't want to push Temari away, so he let her pretend to understand how he felt even though he knew she didn't.

Not at all.

**xx**

Hinata was sat at a table on her own, reading through a book that she'd borrowed from Neji a long time ago. Back when her cousin had been nice and kind and not cruel and twisted. It was scary what love could do to change a person. It really wasn't how most people imagined it to be. Love could be light and beautiful and amazing but it could also be dark and jealous and deceitful. But they didn't write about that sort of love in fairytales.

"Um... " Hinata looked up, pale eyes meeting warm brown. Kiba ran a hand through his shaggy brown hair and swallowed. "Is somebody sitting there?" He asked, nodding to the empty place next to her. Hinata opened her mouth to respond but was interrupted. "I mean, of course there's no one sat there right now - I can see that! Unless the person sitting there was invisible or something. That would be kinda creepy, right?" Kiba's voice trailed off and he gave a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his neck nervously.

Hinata smiled. There was something about the sheepish grin that reminded her of Naruto. The old Naruto. The Naruto that was lost to revenge and hatred. Her smile slowly faded and her heart clenched painfully at the memory. "You can sit there," she said softly.

Kiba dropped down into the seat. "Hinata, right?"

"Yes..."

A hand was shoved in front of her and Kiba's smile was bright and happy when she looked up at him. "Kiba Inuzuka at your service!"

**xx**

It was beyond Naruto how a girl with bright pink hair could be so difficult to find during the school day. He needed to talk to Sakura and let her know he couldn't attend their scheduled tutor session after school. His 'grandma' Tsunade - despite being rich enough to pay for Naruto's apartment and food easily - wanted him to get a job and stop being such a 'free-loading brat'. That afternoon would be his first shift working at Ichiraku's cafe. Naruto couldn't wait for the discounts on all his favourite foods!

"Finally," Naruto muttered to himself as he caught a glimpse of pink in the distance.

Sakura was chatting away happily to her friends, Karin and Ino when Naruto started to approach. Her green eyes glared at him warningly but Naruto didn't heed her warning and instead smiled brightly. "Hi, Sakura. Can I talk to you for a minute?" He recognised the red-head as the girl who'd flirted with him - badly - at Ino's party last week. Ino, normally the first to insult him, was surprisingly quiet.

Karin was more than happy to take lead. "Why does the demon want to talk to you, Sakura?" She demanded, narrowing her eyes suspiciously at the pinkette. "You aren't friends with _it_ are you?"

Sakura opened her mouth and closed it again. For a few moments she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Or a goldfish. It was almost amusing but Naruto knew better than to laugh. It was the moment of truth. Would she choose Naruto or her popularity? Finally, Sakura scoffed and shifted her green-eyed gaze to Karin and Ino. "Pft, like I would ever be friends with a demon like him!"

Naruto swallowed his disappointment. Sakura had the decency to look ashamed while Karin and Ino simply looked amused. "Run along little monster. Don't you have some poor innocent victims to kill?" Karin cackled.

Sakura looked at him, her eyes sympathetic but her voice cold. "Yeah. Run along little monster."

Naruto gave her a sad smile and walked away, hands shoved in his pockets. He thought that Sakura had matured but now he could see she was still the same silly little girl that had jumped into bed with Sasuke all those months ago. He was sad to have lost her friendship but the insults barely hurt him now. He'd heard them so many times before in the past.

As he walked past Sasuke on the way out of the school building he could've sworn he heard him mutter the word, "Sorry."

He must have only imagined it.

**xx**

Naruto was happy to be working in the cafe. It made a nice change to sitting at home all night alone. Most people went home to families but Naruto only had his own thoughts for company. Sometimes he wished he had a family - a brother or sister perhaps - who he could talk to and they would understand him. They would've shared the misery and the blame and that way maybe life wouldn't be so bad. But Naruto was Kushina's only child and he shouldered all the misery and the blame for her actions - there was nothing he could do about it.

When Naruto looked up from the table he was cleaning, Teuchi was stood in front him with an amused smile. He tilted his head to the side curiously and waited for the man - his boss - to explain himself. "There's a gentleman at table 3 that won't stop staring over here. Do me a favour and go find out what he wants?"

Following Teuchi's gaze towards table 3, Naruto frowned as he recognised the red-haired man sat there. Kyuubi. Picking up his cloth, Naruto weaved through the cafe until he was standing in front of Kyuubi's table, cleaning half-heartedly. "What do you want?" He hissed.

Kyuubi gave a low, amused chuckle and raised an eyebrow. "To order or in general?" He quizzed.

Naruto glared at him, blue eyes icy cold, but he brandished his notepad and pencil all the same. "First you can tell me your order and then you can tell me what you're doing here."

Kyuubi nodded and glanced at the menu. "I'll have two- no, actually I'll have _three_ bowls of miso ramen."

Naruto stared at him in shock. "You're gunna eat three bowls of miso ramen by yourself?" He exclaimed. Up until now he was the only person he knew who liked ramen enough to eat it in such large quantities.

Kyuubi looked embarrassed, scractching the back of his neck and flushing bright red. "Shut up, kid. I've liked it for as long as I can remember," he muttered defensively, staring out of the window.

Naruto slumped down in the seat across from him, grinning widely from ear to ear. "No way! I like it too. I once ate nine bowls in a single sitting," he boasted, puffing out his chest with pride and patting his flat stomach at the memory.

Coolly, Kyuubi replied, "Really? I once at _twelve_ bowls in a single sitting."

With a disgruntled scowl, Naruto muttered under his breath, "Yeah well at least now I can see why you're so fat."

Hazel eyes narrowed. "I'm not fat."

"Are too!" Naruto sing-songed.

"It's all muscle, you stupid little brat!"

"Whatever you say, old man!"

"I'm not old."

"Are too!"

Kyuubi released a small growl of frustration under his breath but chose not to respond. He had a feeling if he continued the argument with the brat it would last for hours - they were both incredibly stubborn, it would seem. He turned back to gaze out the window, watching in awe as fireworks exploded in the darkening sky and coloured it with green, red and purple. "There's a fireworks show next week. Are you going?" Kyuubi asked out of the blue.

Naruto eyed him warily. "Are you asking me out on a date? Firstly, I'm not gay. Secondly, I don't dig older men. Thirdly-"

"_Naruto_," Kyuubi groaned, barely resisting the urge to face-palm. "I don't want to have sex with you and I certainly don't want to date you. So are you going to the show?"

The blonde shrugged his shoulders and stared out of the window, watching as the bright colours lit up the sky. "My dad told me that watching fireworks is more special when you watch them with a special person," he said softly. He couldn't remember his father - he was too young - but Jiraiya had told him countless stories and, in a way, it felt like Naruto did know him.

Kyuubi allowed a soft smile to grace his lips. "My dad used to tell me the same thing. So _are_ you going to watch the fireworks with someone special this year?"

Naruto chewed down on his bottom lip and replied honestly, "Probably not." He quickly scribbled down the order Kyuubi had given him almost ten minutes ago and stood up from the seat. "I need to go and give Teuchi your order..."

Nodding, Kyuubi said, "I guess I'll see you around, kid."

**xx**

Naruto had always loved fireworks. There was something so beautiful about them, the way they soared up into the night sky and then burst into a thousand different colours, suspended in air for all to see and admire with their special person. Gaara _was_ a special person to him - as a close friend - but he knew, somehow, that his dad didn't mean a friend when he spoke about finding a special person. He meant love. True, honest, like-what-you-read-in-fairytales love. Once upon a time, Naruto might have believed in that type of love. Now? He had a rather cynical view of things.

A small smile played on the blonde's lips as he looked around his surroundings. The show was to be a small one - Konoha was hardly the biggest of towns - and people were sprawled out on blankets, staring up at the starry sky and waiting for it to start. Naruto watched as Gaara laid their blanket out across the floor. The red-head was being quiet tonight - even more so than usual. When they were both settled on the blanket Naruto turned to him. "What's up, Gaara?" He asked, straight to the point.

Gaara pursed his lips, reluctant to answer. It didn't matter. The first firework exploded in the air and Gaara literally _trembled_. Naruto stared at him in horror - Gaara wasn't ever scared of anything! Reading Naruto's expression, Gaara muttered, "I'm not scared. I just don't see how damaging your ear-drums and looking at pretty lights can be considered _fun_."

Naruto smiled and leant back on his elbows, watching the colours paint the sky like a canvas. "It's beautiful. Just relax."

Gaara couldn't appreciate the beauty, nor could he relax. Each time a firework was released he would stiffen, shoulders rigid and wait for the inevitable bang. No matter how prepared he was for the noise he couldn't help but shake like a leaf. It was humiliating! When the first half of the show was over, Gaara turned to Naruto and said simply, "I can't stay here."

Naruto almost pouted at the thought of being left alone but he didn't try and put up a fight. He knew Gaara was scared and he couldn't expect the red-head to sit there in fear while he enjoyed himself. He forced a bright smile. "Maybe you could go see Shika? He's been spending a lot of time round your place lately."

Gaara nodded stiffly and Naruto watched him leave. The last thing he expected when the second half began was for Sasuke Uchiha to sit down next to him without saying a word of greeting. Naruto stared at the pale boy for several minutes in shock before his attention was captured by the fireworks once again. A content smile found its way onto his lips and the rest of the evening passed by in a blur of colour and cheers.

When the last firework shot up into the sky, Sasuke turned to face Naruto. He seemed troubled. "You haven't been in the library for a while. I thought you might be ill or something." That wasn't the reason he wanted to see Naruto. The dream he'd had a couple of weeks ago had left him shaken up. He wasn't sure why but he thought seeing the blonde would help somehow.

Naruto watched as all the people around them began packing up their things and leaving. He hadn't been focussed on the plan for the past few weeks as his exam date was fast approaching. "I have an exam next week. Sa-" He paused, remembering the pink-haired girl didn't want anybody to know. "I've been spending most of my time studying for it and stuff..."

"I didn't miss you or anything," Sasuke said gruffly.

"I know," Naruto replied with a barely-there smile.

"Good."

There was a beat of silence before Sasuke spoke again. He seemed to do a lot of the talking when he was around Naruto. Five years ago Naruto had been the biggest loud-mouth that Sasuke had ever met and now... He was more mature. Sasuke found himself missing the childish side of him. "There's a new game in the Konoha arcade... I bet I could kick your ass at it."

Naruto seemed genuinely surprised. Sasuke wanted to hang out? This was all happening a lot easier than he thought it would. In his plan he didn't see Sasuke accepting him as a 'sort-of friend' until a couple more months had passed. But the opportunity was there and Naruto wasn't one to let it slip by. "Yeah right, teme! I _always_ win - you'll soon see!"

Sasuke raised an amused eyebrow. "I will? When?"

Naruto thought about it for a moment. "After my exam?" He suggested.

Sasuke stood up and gave a small nod of his head. "Sure. I'll see you around, dobe."

Naruto watched as Sasuke disappeared off into the crowd. He felt strangely numb, empty. Shaking off the feeling he began to fold up the blanket, struggling slightly. "Why don't you let me help you with that?"

Looking up in surprise, Naruto scowled at the male Hyuuga. "I wouldn't want a princess to break a nail on my behalf." He felt a little triumphant when Neji glared at him for the comment. Folding over the blanket one last time he held it under his arm and glanced back at the long-haired boy. "Do you want something?" He asked, not caring how rude he sounded.

Neji smirked, he'd obviously been waiting for Naruto to ask before he spoke. "It's fascinating. How you're suddenly spending so much time around the same boy who broke your heart five years ago."

Naruto raised an eyebrow at the choice of words. "Broke my heart? Don't talk about me like I was one of his fan-girls, Princess. I never loved him."

"You might not have been a fan-girl but you were worse than one in many ways. You worshipped the very ground he walked on, looked up to him and told him _everything _he wanted to know. Because he was special to you," Neji pointed out.

"I know how the story goes," Naruto muttered. The last thing he needed was someone reminding him of the worst day of his life. "Are you quite finished?"

Neji chuckled. "I know that you're up to something. You want to know how I know? You're just like me, Naruto. You don't forgive and you certainly don't forget. I know that you still hate Uchiha for what he did to you... So why are you set on making him think otherwise?" Naruto stayed quiet, realising it was a rhetorical question. "I'll tell you why - because your heart is turning black from all the hate it harbours and you want him to pay for what he did to you. You might tell yourself you're doing this for my dear cousin Hinata or Sakura or the thousand other girls he's ripped to shreds but the truth is you're doing this for one person. You."

Naruto stared calmly at the other boy, barely reacting to the words. "That's quite a nice theory you've got there. You must've put a lot of thought into it, huh?"

Neji shrugged his shoulders. "He broke your heart, Uzumaki - not in the sense where you loved him and he crushed you like a bug under his shoe. He broke your trust and made you _hate_ him. You're now incapable of love because you daren't let another person into your heart again. Am I right?"

Naruto pursed his lips into a tight line. "Like I said, it's a nice _theory_."

**xx**

Sakura and Naruto sat across from each other at the table. Neither one of them was sure what to say. It was the last tutor session before Naruto's exam and the first one since the incident at school as Naruto had been busy with his new job most days. Naruto shifted slightly on the uncomfortable wooden seat, normally they would relax on the sofa but that felt too informal after everything that had happened. Just as he was about to open his mouth and suggest they get started, Sakura blurted, "I'm so sorry, Naruto! I didn't mean what I said about you being a demon or a monster."

Naruto shifted his gaze away from her. The comments didn't bother him but the fact it was Sakura - a supposed friend - saying them did bother him a little. But what annoyed him the most was her _reasons_ for saying them - her popularity and her so-called friends. Didn't she see she would be so much better off without it all? "I don't blame you for what you said. I'm just... I thought you were over all that popularity stuff," Naruto mumbled, still avoiding eye-contact with the pink-haired girl.

"I... I am over it," Sakura said softly and her brows furrowed as she realised she meant it. It had been a long time since she'd cared what Ino and Karin thought of her and the things she'd said to Naruto in front of them had been out of habit more than fear. But she wouldn't hide herself any longer. What did it matter if she wasn't popular? What did it matter if she hung out with Naruto? She liked him. He wasn't a demon in her eyes.

Naruto looked at her dubiously, obviously not believing she was serious.

Sakura stood up from her chair and wandered around Naruto's flat, searching. Finally she found what she was looking for - scissors. "Do you remember me telling you how I grew my hair long because Sasuke liked girls with long hair?" Naruto nodded mutely. Sakura held out the scissors. "I... I want to move on from him Naruto. Will you cut my hair for me?"

Naruto looked from Sakura to the scissors and back again. He gave a small smile and nodded. "Sure."

As Sakura watched the pink locks fall to the floor at her feet she felt relieved. It was like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders and suddenly she felt so much lighter, like she was finally free.

**xx**

The day of the exam came much to quickly for Naruto's liking. He was thankful that Sakura was there with him, keeping her head held high as students judged her for being seen hanging around with the demon. She caught Naruto looking at her and smiled softly. "What?"

Naruto scratched the back of his neck nervously and smiled sheepishly. "Thanks for all this. You... You're a real friend."

Sakura found the glares of the other students didn't matter so much when Naruto smiled so brightly. The doors to the exam room opened and Naruto's smile morphed into a look of horror. The pink-haired girl chuckled. "You'll do great - you had me as a tutor after all. I'm going to head to class. Tell me how it goes!" With a little wave she began walking down the corridor, not even glancing at Sasuke Uchiha as she passed him.

Naruto was about to enter the hall when he caught sight of Sasuke. "What are you doing here? You don't need to do this exam..."

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. "I... Just wanted to say good luck."

Naruto stared at him before accepting his answer. "Oh, well thanks. I guess. Are we still going to the arcade after this?" He asked, wondering if Sasuke even remembered what they'd arranged last week.

Sasuke nodded and the corners of his lips lifted up into a smirk. "Hn. I look forward to beating you, dobe."

Naruto was about to come up with a witty retort when he noticed the exam was about to start. Eyes widening, he darted past Sasuke into the hall, glaring at the other boy over his shoulder.

Sasuke snorted.

The blonde was still as stupid as ever.

"I'm curious, Uchiha. Do you think he grows more attractive with age? Enlighten me, I really do want to know."

"Hyuuga," Sasuke snarled, turning to face the long-haired boy. "What do you want?"

Neji ignored his question and continued speaking, "I think the years have definitely treated him kindly. I still despise him, though, of course. What do you think, Uchiha?"

"Any... _Attraction_... I might have had towards the dobe back then was nothing but hormones. That's all."

"Sure," Neji drawled out in obvious disbelief. "If you believe that you probably believe that Naruto _forgives_ you and actually wants to be your friend!" Neji couldn't wait to see the look on Sasuke's face when he told him otherwise.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Unlike you, Naruto is actually capable of forgiving people. When are _you_ going to forgive him? It's been, what, three years? He doesn't even remember for fuck's sake!"

Neji's eyes hardened. As much as he hated Naruto, he hated Sasuke more and perhaps it would be fun to let Naruto go through with his little act of revenge. If Neji was lucky it would backfire and both of them would be hurt by it. If not he would find some way to make Naruto pay for what he did. Neji meant what he said to the blonde about the two of them being similar - Naruto could hold a grudge and so could he. "Maybe I'll suddenly find it in my heart to forgive him in another two years," he mocked before turning on his heel and leaving.

**xx**

Ino chewed on her bottom lip nervously. She was beginning to think this was a bad idea. Her foot tapped lightly against the floor and she wondered how she'd ended up here - in a tattoo parlour of all places - in her attempt to move on from Sasuke. She had always wanted a tattoo but had never dared to take the risk of having something permanently marked onto her skin. What if she didn't like it in a year? What if it didn't turn out right at all?

Just as she was about to stand up and run for the door, a man - who couldn't be much older than her - called her name. "Ino?"

Ino stood up and followed him through to the back room. She couldn't help but admire the man - he looked similar to Sasuke but his hair was shorter and his skin was paler. He was attractive. Definitely. Ino took a seat on one of the chairs and continued to watch the man as he got everything ready. On the wall there were thousands of designs, all very beautiful and artistic, and she found her attention being drawn to them. "Do you like them? I design most of them myself..."

"Really? Wow. I don't have an artistic bone in my body," Ino muttered.

"Well, that's why you're so beautiful then. A perfect canvas for an artist to make his own," the man said with a smile. Ino's cheeks turned pink. "So any design in particular?"

Ino shook her head. "I want something to represent the beginning of a new chapter, a new life. Does that make sense?"

The man quickly sketched a design on a piece of rough paper and handed it to her. "How about this?" He suggested.

"That's brilliant!" Ino exclaimed. "Do you mind if I ask you what your name is?"

"Not at all. My name's Sai," he replied. "Do you mind if I take you out to dinner?" He asked cheekily.

A simple 'no' was on the tip of Ino's tongue but it never quite left her lips. She wasn't the sort of person to do things like this spontaneously but maybe - just this once - it would be fun to take a little risk. Sai was handsome and he seemed like a nice guy too. What was the harm? "Not at all," she said with a smile that Sai returned.

**xx**

Naruto grinned triumphantly as his name finally appeared as first-place. Next to him, Sasuke scowled and glared at the screen as though he wanted nothing more than to smash it to pieces for callling him a loser. "I win! I win!" Naruto cheered, rubbing it in the other boy's face and doing a little victory dance which earned him a few odd looks from the other people in the arcade.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You won one game out of ten - it hardly counts for anything."

Naruto shook his head. "Nuh-huh! You said I wouldn't beat you and I did so hah!" He prodded Sasuke's chest and smiled. He was - though he daren't admit it, not even to himself - having fun. It reminded him of the old days when they would compete over every little thing... But thinking about the old days reminded Naruto of the betrayal and the desire to get revenge. But he had all the time in the world to get revenge - why couldn't he have a little fun for now? "You owe me ramen!"

A groan escaped the lips of the Uchiha. "C'mon Naruto, anything but ramen - I might be rich but I'm not that rich!"

Naruto huffed. "I don't eat _that_ much, teme!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. He could remember having to pay for almost ten bowls of ramen once. "Sure you don't, loser." He sighed, knowing he was going to lose the battle eventually and he might as well give up now. "Fine but I'm not paying for more than two bowls..."

Naruto grinned, whooping in victory.

Sasuke felt his heart clench painfully as he thought about how much he'd missed this. What he wouldn't give to go back in time and stop himself from ruining their friendship so that they could regain the five years they'd lost. But even if he did go back it wouldn't change anything. Neji would get what he wanted either way but at least Sasuke would feel less _guilty_.

"Hurry up, Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed loudly, tugging on his arm and pulling him from his thoughts. "I'm starving!"

"You? Starving? Impossible. You eat enough for a family of five," Sasuke replied coolly with a smirk.

"You're such a bastard!" Naruto grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest, but there was amusement which shone clear in his eyes.

**end chapter 3 **

* * *

**xx**

A/N: Hi guys! I think I've been doing pretty well at updating quickly. This chapter didn't have much about Sasuke and Naruto - well, it had a bit - and I decided that we could visit some of the minor characters to see how they're dealing. As for side-pairings, I didn't want there to be too much gay romance in this story because, in most schools, not every couple is gay so most side pairings will be het but I won't mention them much anyway. Until next time, folks!

**Q. Why is Sasuke opening up to Naruto so quickly?**

A. Because, as this chapter tells you, he still cares for him. He used to be best friends with him 5 years ago until *something* happened. Sasuke has no reason to hate Naruto so the feelings of friendship - long dead as far as Naruto is concerned and replaced with hate - are still alive for him. So it's easy for Sasuke to just pick up where they left off. As for Naruto? He's just pretending. Naruto still hates Sasuke but he is amazed by how easy it is to slip into old habits of friendship - like the little scene between 'em at the end.

I would love a review or two.

Hey, I'm a poet and I didn't know it! ^_^


	4. Snowcovered Dreams

Title: Learn to be Lonely  
Summary: "Don't you see?" Hinata whispered to the empty space where Naruto once stood. "You're just like him, Naruto. Lonely." A story of betrayal, revenge, love and - above all else - loneliness.

Disclaimer: I don't really own Naruto but a girl can dream, right?

* * *

**December**

_This is my December, these are my snow-covered dreams. This is me pretending this is all I need. _

**xx**

Neji Hyuuga prided himself in being a patient person. Over five years now he had spent, watching Naruto's every move; every single step the blonde took, Neji would be there, lurking in the shadows and silently watching. At first he had simply been captured by the boy's bright hair and even brighter personality. He wanted to steal Naruto's foxy smile and keep it locked away, hidden from the rest of the world. He was selfish and wanted to keep that smile - so blindingly innocent and _pure_ - all to himself. But Naruto never even looked his way, his attention was always focussed solely on his best friend - Sasuke Uchiha.

Oh, how Neji _hated_ Sasuke. Each time Naruto directed his wonderful smile towards the undeserving Uchiha, Neji felt the white hot rage and darkness consume him a little more. Neji wasn't stupid; he saw the way Sasuke looked at Naruto, like he was the only person he cared for in the world. But Neji didn't consider Sasuke to be a threat. Not at first.

As the months went by, Neji watched as Sasuke's feelings for Naruto grew and grew and he noticed Sasuke _staring_, watching the happy little blonde like Neji himself had spent so long doing. Neji simply couldn't risk losing Naruto to the new competition. So, he did the only thing he could think to do and confronted the Uchiha.

_"Imagine __what your dear parents would say if they knew their littlest son was having improper thoughts about his best friend? His male best friend? Very bad for business in these unforgiving times, wouldn't you say?" _

An ugly smile twisted itself onto his lips at the memory.

_"...You don't want to give your parents another reason to favour your older brother, do you?"_

It was a shockingly bitter smile with a sharp edge of resentment to it.

_"You might as well be selfish, Sasuke. His birthday party. Next week. You'll be giving him a very special present. If you don't... Well, you can say goodbye to your future."_

"Cousin?"

_"So what will it be?"_

"...Neji?"

Neji's pale eyes snapped up to meet Hinata's own. He didn't offer her a smile but she hadn't expected him to. It had been years since she'd last seen him smile in a way that wasn't mocking or bitter. "What do you want, Hinata?" He asked impatiently.

Hinata tucked a lock of her dark hair behind her ear and moved to stand next to him, staring out at the late-night traffic. "I was just wondering... Do you really still hate him after all these years?" She asked gently, not wanting to anger him. Her cousin had a vicious temper.

"He made a fool out of me-"

"You made a fool out of _yourself_, dear cousin!"

Neji's gaze hardened and his hand twitched, as though it were itching to slap some sense into the girl before him. But he didn't move. "You know nothing of what happened that night," he said calmly.

If Hinata was scared by her cousin, she didn't show it. She was strong - like Naruto had always told her she was. "No. I don't know what happened that night but I do know you loved him then... So why can't you just allow him to be happy?"

Neji's eyes were wild as he turned to look at her. He looked almost like a cornered animal, defensive and pathetic but still dangerous. "Because... Because if I don't get to be happy, why should I allow _him_ to be?"

"Because," Hinata said softly. "That's the right thing to do, cousin. He doesn't even remember what happened that night with you..."

Neji was silent for a while, gazing up at the moon-lit sky as though he were searching the stars for answers. "There was a time," he spoke very softly. It was barely louder than a whisper. "Where I would've given _anything_ to make him happy, to see him smile and come to me willingly but now... Now I want to see him cry; I want to watch as his walls crumble and break around him until he has no choice but to _crawl_ back to me on his hands and knees, begging. Because I love him."

Hinata nearly shivered at the cold honesty. Was it right to call it love when it was so ugly and twisted? There was jealousy and lust but where were the beautiful and caring feelings that came with it? "You're playing them against each other-" She began.

"No," Neji said quickly and a small smirk formed on his lips. "They chose to play this game themselves."

"As a result of your actions all those years ago!" Hinata pointed out.

Neji shrugged his shoulders carelessly. "Maybe so. And I'll be there to pick up the pieces of Naruto Uzumaki's broken heart and then crush them into dust in front of him. Just so I can see those beautiful tears on his cheeks..."

Hinata turned her face away from her cousin. "You're disgusting for doing this..."

Neji chuckled. "I suppose you think your precious Naruto is disgusting too? He's just like me, afterall - set on revenge."

Hinata shook her head and refused to believe his words. "No, he'll see sense before it goes too far! No matter what he might think Sasuke's capable of he'd never do something so cruel for petty revenge!"

Neji gave a bitter, harsh laugh. "Is that why you don't tell him the truth? Because you have faith in him, that he'll do the right thing? How very foolish you are, my dear cousin."

Hinata gritted her teeth but said nothing. She wanted to tell him the true reason she'd said nothing to Naruto - because she had always hoped that one day her cousin would redeem himself and speak the truth. She desperately wanted him to right his wrongs before the darkness consumed him completely. She would always believe in her beloved cousin, who had once been so nice before love - supposedly the most beautiful thing in the world - had destroyed him. And she would always believe in Naruto, too, even if he hadn't been _her_ Naruto for five years now. Her Naruto had smiled, laughed and forgiven people without a second thought. It was one of the reasons she'd found it in herself to forgive Sasuke so easily - it was something the old Naruto would've done.

She missed him so badly...

**xx**

"You're such an _idiot_!"

Naruto pouted and crossed his arms across his chest defensively. He pulled a face as his bare arm brushed across the sticky sauces that covered his t-shirt. "Hey, I wasn't the one who squirted mustard all over that guy with the moustache!" He exclaimed. A foxy smile spread across his lips as he laughed, the light and care-free sound carried down the street. He attempted to wipe some of the sauce from his hair with a relatively clean spot on his shirt but only succeeded in spreading it more through the golden locks. The tomato sauce made him look as though he had red streaks!

Sasuke, like Naruto, was covered from head to toe in various sauces from the restaurant they'd just left. Or rather, they'd been kicked out of for 'disturbing the other customers'. Mustard dripped down from his dark hair in clumps, making him cringe. "Only because _you_ ducked at the last minute, you complete moron!" He grumbled. He wouldn't ever admit it to it to the blonde but he was the happiest he'd been in a long time. Their friendship was back on track and Sasuke enjoyed spending all the time he could with Naruto. Making up for the time they'd lost.

Naruto wiped a tear of laughter from his eye. He could taste mustard on his lips and his tongue darted out to lick it up. Sasuke's dark eyes unconsciously followed the movement. "Do you remember when we were eleven and we had that massive food fig-" Naruto babbled excitedly, before realising what he was talking about and stopping mid-sentence. He looked down at the ice-covered floor. It had become an unspoken rule between them to never talk about their past. It made things awkward and Naruto struggled even to pretend to be friendly when he thought about the hurt Sasuke had put him through...

"Let's go back to yours and shower," Sasuke suggested after a beat of silence. He reached over to wipe some red sauce from the blonde's cheek. His eyes widened as his brain caught up with the near-affectionate action. He pulled his hand back, wiped the sauce onto his black jeans and began walking quickly in the direction of Naruto's apartment.

Naruto hesitated, bringing his fingers up to touch his cheek. It was still warm from Sasuke's gentle touch. He shook his head and followed after the dark-haired boy obediently, ignoring the strange looks they received from people they passed. "Why do we have to go back to mine? Yours is closer!" He whined like a child.

"Hurry up... Dobe."

**xx**

Ino wrapped her arms around herself, tears slipping slowly down her cheeks as she stared at the test in her hands. How was this happening? She was only seventeen, not old enough for this... She'd only had sex twice in her life and now... A sob caught in her throat, burning, and she lowered herself down to the floor and buried her face in her knees. She cried and cried until there were no tears left.

Trembling, she reached for her phone and scrolled down to 'S' in the contacts list. She dialled the number with shaking hands and brought the phone up to her ear. She held her breath and waited for the other person to pick up. It was a phone conversation that would begin the change of his life as well as hers and she was terrified of how he'd react.

"Hello?" A voice on the other end of the line answered. He sounded annoyed, as though she'd interrupted something important.

Ino took a deep, shaky breath and replied, "Hey... It's Ino. I need to talk to you... It's kind of important. Can you meet up with me later today?"

She heard a sigh on the other end of the line. "I'm kinda busy-"

"Please," she whispered, nearly choking on the words. "It's really, really important..."

"I can meet up with you tomorrow at lunch?" He offered.

Ino rubbed at her eyes and chewed on her lower lip. If tomorrow was the earliest he could manage, it would have to do... "Ichiraku's Cafe at lunch, then?"

"Sure."

**xx**

Naruto shivered as he looked out at the falling snow from the library window. It had been snowing constantly over the past couple of days and, although the blonde had been excited at first, he was starting to become sick of the cold. It didn't help that he kept slipping up on the ice-covered floor whenever he dared to venture outside. Naruto sighed and glanced over at the deserted chess board. Sasuke had left mid-game to hand in some homework he'd forgotten about. Naruto's lips twitched upwards into an amused half-smile. He doubted the raven-haired boy had _ever_ handed homework in late before today.

Heh, maybe he was a bad influence on the Uchiha...

Not that they were actually friends. Not really. Naruto's smile faded and his soft gaze morphed into a hard glare, one so heated it could melt the snow outside if he concentrated hard enough. Sasuke Uchiha had ruined his life five years ago and Naruto wanted to ruin his in return. It was only fair... Right?

"Hey, blondie!"

Naruto fixed his glare on the speaker. It was Suigetsu and for once Juugo was nowhere to be seen. "Neji told me to give you this," Suigetsu continued speaking. He held out a small orange, gift-wrapped box with a big blue bow on top. Naruto wondered how Neji knew his favourite colour but dismissed the thought and continued to eye the present warily, not taking it. "He said to tell you it was an early Christmas present."

The blonde boy finally took the box and turned it over in his hands. It was very light - perhaps there was no present, just an empty box. Naruto's brow furrowed as he considered why Neji would get him a present. They weren't friends and Neji had always hated him for some reason... It didn't make any sense. "Thanks for bringing this to me," Naruto said, eyes flickering back up to Suigetsu.

Suigetsu, who had been hesitating, seemed to realise the blonde didn't intend to open the gift while he was there and gave a small nod before leaving.

Sasuke brushed past Suigetsu as he entered the library and his dark eyes immediately fell upon the orange box in his dobe's hands. A nagging feeling of jealousy flared up in his stomach. Who was sending Naruto gifts? Did somebody _like_ him? Why did he even care? Shaking his head of the thoughts, Sasuke seated himself at the table. "What's that?" He asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

Naruto quickly shoved Neji's present into his school bag, away from Sasuke's prying eyes. Whatever it was Neji had gotten him, he doubted it would be wise to open it in front of other people. Quickly forcing a bright, happy smile towards his so-called 'best friend', Naruto shrugged his shoulders. "It's nothing... Hey, Sas?"

"Hn?"

"What are you doing for Christmas this year?"

Sasuke lined up the chess pieces, a small frown on his lips as he considered the question. "I... Don't know," he admitted. He sounded almost lost, as though he'd only just realised this himself.

Naruto pulled himself up onto the table, swinging his legs and looking down at the Uchiha boy. "Isn't Christmas a day you should spend with your family? So won't you be spending it at home?"

Sasuke avoided the searching blue-eyed gaze and answered dismissively, "They won't be here at Christmas."

"Oh? Then it's settled!" Naruto exclaimed happily.

"What is?" Sasuke asked, looking up at the small blonde in confusion.

"You can spend Christmas with me this year, teme. We are _best friends_, right?"

Sasuke's answering smile was more genuine than Naruto had ever seen it be before. It should've made him feel guilty. Guilty for the pain he was going to cause over the next year... But the blonde felt nothing. Nothing but a starving hunger for revenge which burned deep within him like a fire. "Yeah... Yeah, we'll always be best friends, dobe."

**xx**

Hinata smiled softly as she watched Kiba picking out snacks, an excited smile on his face. "Do you like strawberry or chocolate best, Hina?" He asked, chewing on his bottom lip as he tried to decide on a flavour of pocky. It had taken weeks for him to work up the courage to ask the Hyuuga girl on a date and he was going to try his hardest to make it perfect for her.

She deserved as much after all she'd been through.

"I-I like... Strawberry?" Hinata replied uncertainly, a light pink blush dusting her cheeks. Kiba really did remind her of the old Naruto, so much so it was almost painful. He was sweet, charming and there was something endearing about his child-like attitude and toothy smile.

"Strawberry pocky it is, then!" Kiba announced to her happily, picking up the strawberry pocky and paying for it at the counter with the other snacks. "C'mon, Hinata - we don't want to miss the start of the film!"

Kiba would never be able to replace Naruto in her heart but... Who knew, maybe it was time for her to finally move on with her life. Move on from Naruto.

**xx**

Ino was too nervous to eat or drink when she arrived at Ichiraku's cafe. She was ten minutes early and had nothing better to do than stare into space as she waited for him to show up. Her stomach was twisted with nerves and her heart pounded in her chest, deafeningly loud. Her icy blue eyes stared at the small menu in front of her but saw nothing.

The chair opposite hers was pulled out with a loud screeching noise and she looked up, meeting the familiar dark eyes. Her breath caught in her throat. "Ino, it's nice to see you again..." Sai said in a pleasant, business-like tone of voice as he took a seat.

Ino tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace. She decided it would be easier to get straight to the point, no messing about. "I'm pregnant, Sai," she said in a voice much calmer than how she felt.

Sai was silent and his friendly smile faded, his expression becoming carefully guarded and blank before her very eyes. Ino wasn't surprised. They barely knew each other, things hadn't really worked out after their date and their encounter had been a one-time thing. "Is it..." He faltered slightly. "Is it definitely mine?" He asked, avoiding eye contact as best he could.

Ino lowered her gaze shamefully, blue eyes hidden by curtains of dark lashes, and admitted in a soft whisper, "There's only one other person who could possibly be the father..."

Oh, how she hoped the baby didn't belong to _him_...

To Sasuke Uchiha.

**xx**

Naruto wrapped the towel loosely around his waist and stepped out of the steamy bathroom. His hair was dripping wet and beads of water travelled from the nape of his neck, down his torso. He shivered as the chilly air touched his body; he'd almost forgotten it was winter and so close to Christmas, too. Just a week until he'd be celebrating the happy festive season with Sasuke Uchiha... Would he be expected to buy him a present? He supposed so, they _were_ 'best friends' afterall.

It had been almost two months since they'd become 'friends' again... Things had gone back to normal surprisingly quickly. It was effortless, really. They slipped back into the old routine like nothing had happened.

Like Sasuke had never broken Naruto's trust or condemned him to a life of solitude...

Naruto clenched his hands into fists at the thought and looked around the room for something, anything really, to take his mind off the raw anger that was bubbling up inside him. His blue eyes fell upon his school bag and the big blue bow that was peeking out of it.

Neji's present. He had almost forgotten! Crossing the room in a few big strides, the blonde plucked the gift from the bag and tore open the paper. It was a simple black box and inside it...

Huh?

A sprig of Mistletoe?

It was then that Naruto noticed the note hidden underneath it. He moved the Mistletoe to one side and scanned the neat, cursive writing:

_You and the Uchiha seem to be good friends. Perhaps it's about time you stepped up your game and took things to the next level? This is just a little something for inspiration. Christmas is such a perfect time for new romance, don't you think? NH._

Naruto scoffed but just before he crumpled the note in his hand, he reconsidered. Maybe Neji was on his side? If he wasn't he would've told Sasuke about the plan the moment he'd suspected - right? He looked down at the Mistletoe thoughtfully. Perhaps it was about time he stepped up the game to the next level... Even if only to see how Sasuke would react to something more than friendship.

He smiled to himself.

Things were about to get a lot more interesting, that was for sure...

**xx**

Sasuke pulled his midnight-blue scarf tighter around his neck and tried his best to ignore the frosty air biting at his exposed skin. It was a week until Christmas and the shopping centre was filled with last-minute buyers, all rushing about in an attempt to get their shopping done. Sasuke had been struggling, ever since Naruto proposed they spend the Christmas holiday together, to find the perfect gift for the blonde. Nothing seemed good enough! He'd even considered just buying him cup ramen but then decided it wasn't the sort of thing you gave to your best friend for Christmas. No matter how much said best friend seemed to like it.

"This is hopeless," Sasuke grumbled to himself.

Maybe he should just give up? Was it _really_ necessary for him to buy Naruto a present? But a part of him wanted to buy the blonde something meaningful, to make up for his mistakes in the past.

"What is he _doing_ to me?" He whispered, voice laced with desperation.

Ever since Naruto had wormed his way back into his life (and Sasuke still couldn't understand why he had, after all the years of hate) the blonde was all Sasuke could think about. He'd hoped the feelings - which, years ago, he'd put down to out of control hormones - would disappear with time. But they hadn't disappeared. They'd just been frozen in time, preserved somewhere inside of him until the day Naruto returned and awakened them.

His only reply was the eerie whistling of the cold December wind.

**xx**

It was the last day before the Christmas Holidays and Naruto was happy spending his lunch with his real friends for a change. It felt as though he hadn't seen them in a long time. He'd been spending so much of his time with Sasuke, playing the part of the best friend. He hadn't really thought about how he'd explain it to the people he was close to. He knew they were all confused and curious about his relationship with the Uchiha.

Well, apart from Gaara who was never really confused or curious about anything really.

Naruto shivered at the cold and inwardly cursed Shikamaru who had dragged the group outside in order to do some 'cloud-watching'. Seriously? Naruto was freezing his ass off so Shikamaru could look at the clouds? They all looked the same to Naruto...

"Hey, Mr. Daydream!" Sakura called out, waving a hand in front of his eyes and successfully pulling him from his thoughts.

He waved her hand away with a grumpy smile. "D'ya mind backing up a bit? Your forehead is blocking my light-" Pain. Lots of pain. Naruto pouted and rubbed the newly formed bump on the top of his head where Sakura had hit him. "You're so mean!" He wailed pathetically but his eyes held amusement.

Shikamaru opened one eye in order to glare at the two of them. "Troublesome," he muttered before closing his eye again. It was beyond Naruto how the boy could claim to be cloud-watching when he had both eyes closed.

"You'd be more sociable if Temari was here, wouldn't you Shika?" Sakura teased. She had settled into Naruto's group of friends easily. It was like she'd never been part of the popular group to start with. Like she belonged.

Gaara, hearing his sister's name, narrowed his eyes dangerously at Shikamaru. "What are your intentions with my sister?"

Shikamaru swallowed nervously and tugged at his collar. "Uh..."

Sakura quickly changed the conversation, sensing the murderous aura. "So, you've been spending a lot of time around Sasuke Uchiha lately, Naruto. Word is, you and him are best friends!"

Naruto scratched the back of his neck, suddenly feeling as nervous as Shikamaru had been just a minute earlier. Should he tell his friends the truth and get them involved or should he keep it to himself? Well, Shikamaru, Neji and Hinata already knew but there was no need to get anybody else involved... Right? He shifted his gaze to the floor and shrugged his shoulders. "I guess it was about time I forgave him. I can't hold a grudge forever..." He said simply.

Sakura seemed to accept this as a suitable response.

Shikamaru gave a knowing, subtle nod.

Gaara _stared_ at him.

And the moment Naruto caught those brilliant green eyes narrowing at him, he knew that Gaara had seen straight through his lie. He also knew that Gaara would find out exactly what he was up to soon enough. Trying to keep a secret from Gaara was like trying to keep Winnie the Pooh from his honey. Impossible.

Naruto sighed and tried to pay attention to Sakura, who was babbling excitedly about the grades she would need in order to get into Medical School.

Shikamaru was right, things really _were_ troublesome.

**xx**

Gaara caught up with Naruto after last lesson.

The blonde was busy chattering away to Sasuke, making a list of things the other boy would need to bring to Naruto's apartment seeing as he would be staying over. He had never decorated his apartment for Christmas before (he'd never seen the point in spending money on buying decorations) so after finding out Sasuke had boxes of decorations that weren't being used at home, Naruto was even more excited. "Have you got that sparkly stuff you wrap around the tree? Have you got it in orange?" He asked eagerly, not noticing the red-head stood behind him.

Sasuke's eyebrow raised at Gaara but he said nothing. He would wait for the blonde to notice for himself. "It's called _tinsel_, you complete moron. And even if I _did_ have it in orange I wouldn't put that stupid colour up on the tree."

Naruto pouted miserably but gave up on the argument. There was no reasoning with Sasuke when it came to the colour orange and ramen. Noticing the darker-haired boy's attention was no longer on him, the blonde followed the onyx eyes and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw Gaara. "Gaara!" He exclaimed, sounding both happy and nervous. "Um... Gaara, this is Sasuke. Sasuke, this is Gaara!"

"I know who he is," both boys replied together through gritted teeth. Naruto was torn between feeling creeped out and impressed.

Gaara stopped glaring at Sasuke in order to look at Naruto. "Can I talk to you... In private?" He asked calmly.

Naruto nodded his head dumbly and allowed his red-haired friend to drag him away from a pissed-off Sasuke. "What's wrong, Gaa?" Naruto asked when they were out of ear-shot. The nickname caused Gaara's eyebrow to twitch in annoyance.

"I keep asking myself how you can be friends with him again after what he did," Gaara said. It was as though he were talking to himself. Naruto waited, picking at the hem of his school-shirt nervously, for him to continue speaking. "You might have everybody else fooled but I _know_ you better than them, Naruto. I know how much you hated him for what he put you through. Or have you forgotten? He ruined your life."

Naruto scowled. "I hadn't forgotten," he replied bitterly.

"See, there's that hate again. It's still there in your eyes when you think about what he did to you. So, how can you be friends with somebody you hate?" Gaara asked.

"I'm not... Not really... It's complicated," Naruto replied, running a hand through his hair and glancing over at Sasuke.

Gaara's mind was quick to understand. "You're pretending to be friends with him," he stated. Naruto nodded. Gaara looked thoughtful. "I hope you hurt him ten times worse than he hurt you, Uzumaki."

Naruto smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. The numb feeling had settled in his stomach again. "Thanks Gaara... I just need to do this, you know?" His blue eyes looked at him, pleading with him to understand that he wasn't a _bad_ person. He just wanted justice. He just wanted a chance to be truly happy and he didn't think that was possible while Sasuke - the cause of his life-long misery - went un-punished.

"If you need any help-"

"I know I can count on you for it, right?" Naruto interrupted, pulling the red-haired boy into a brief hug that wasn't returned. Not that he expected it to be. They'd been talking for too long and he could see Sasuke beginning to get annoyed at having to wait.

Gaara gave one of his near-smiles. "Right."

Naruto pulled away and his eyes met Gaara's for a short moment before he turned and walked away, back to Sasuke. From his real best friend, to his pretend best friend. From the only person who understood, to the only person who never could. "See ya, Gaara!" Naruto yelled loudly over his shoulder.

Gaara lifted his hand in a half-hearted wave and watched as Sasuke and Naruto left the school, bickering just like old time. He found himself wondering how long it would be until, once again, he was forgotten and Sasuke Uchiha took his place...

But as long as Naruto was happy...

As long as Naruto didn't ask him for his help or advice...

He wouldn't interfere.

**xx**

Naruto frowned at the box of decorations as he picked through all the blue, red and black in search of something a bit more... Well, a bit more colourful. But apparently colour didn't exist in Sasuke Uchiha's world. At least the red would look nice on the tree, contrasting with the green... "Our Christmas is going to be so depressing with all these emo colours, teme!"

Sasuke, who was stood on a chair trying to get the angel to balance on top of the tree, scowled down at him. "Shut up, dobe. Why don't you help a little instead of just sitting there, criticising everything I do?"

"But you have such a funny angry face!" Naruto laughed, ducking a bauble that Sasuke threw his way. It bounced a few times across the carpeted floor and then rolled behind the sofa. "You're lucky that didn't break!" The blonde exclaimed, crawling behind the sofa in search of the escaped bauble. He held it up with a triumphant grin and did a victory pose, all of which went ignored by the stoic Uchiha. "Ah-hah! Found it... Hey, it's one of those 'My first Christmas' ones... Aw it's got Itachi's name on it and every- Hey!" Naruto blinked as the bauble was snatched out of his hand by a fuming Sasuke. But there was something else in his eyes, too... Pain? Sadness?

Sasuke directed his glare away from the blonde and instead down towards the bauble. "It should've been broken," he said bitterly.

"What are you talking about, Sas- No, don't do that!" Naruto winced as the bauble shattered in Sasuke's hand, breaking into sharp pieces that pierced the pale skin and drew blood to the surface.

Sasuke's hand trembled and he dropped the pieces to the ground, glass and blood seeped into the carpet. Naruto didn't care, his gaze was fixed on Sasuke's bleeding palm. "I'm sorry..." Sasuke mumbled, looking thoroughly ashamed of himself for his outburst.

Naruto shook his head, dismissing the apology. He grabbed Sasuke by the wrist and led him to the kitchen. Turning the tap on he held Sasuke's bleeding palm beneath the running water, watching as the blood disappeared down the drain. "I don't think the cuts are too deep," he said, looking up at Sasuke and finding himself caught up in an intense onyx stare. "Sasuke?" He questioned, voice barely above a whisper.

Sasuke turned his face away, breaking their locked gaze and hiding the proof of his embarrassment. "Thanks... Dobe."

"Don't mention it," Naruto breathed in reply.

**xx**

"Naruto?"

"..Ngg.."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and shook the snoozing blonde's shoulders. "Wake up you idiot, it's midnight!"

Naruto shot up from the sofa with wide eyes and a bright smile. It was Christmas! As Naruto wasn't an early bird the two of them had decided to stay up until midnight and then exchange presents. It hadn't worked out as well as they'd hoped as apparently Naruto wasn't much of a night owl either and kept falling asleep. Much to the annoyance of Sasuke, who had to keep waking him up every five minutes. Eventually he'd given up and allowed the dobe to sleep until midnight, sprawled out across the sofa and drooling on the leg of Sasuke's jeans. The blonde smiled sheepishly as he realised exactly how he'd been lying and scratched the back of his neck as he caught sight of the darkened patch of warm drool on the other boy's jeans. "Uh... Merry Christmas, Sasuke!" He grinned.

Sasuke's eye twitched and Naruto knew the dark-haired boy was struggling to remain calm. But Christmas was a time for forgiveness and being nice to people so he took a deep breath and forced a very small, barely there smile. "Merry Christmas, idiot."

Naruto grumbled at the insult but ignored it in favour of collecting his present for Sasuke from under the tree. It was wrapped - messily - in dark blue wrapping paper with little snowmen and tied together with a big red bow. It looked as though it'd been wrapped by a creative five-year old but Naruto supposed it was the thought that counted. Such a shame that he hadn't put much thought into the gift at all. He had caught sight of a cheap snow-globe while he was out shopping the previous week and had decided to buy it on a whim. It didn't mean anything. But Sasuke didn't mean anything to Naruto, so it was quite fitting really. "Here's your present, teme!"

Sasuke took the gift and unwrapped it carefully. There was something about the way he held it - like it was something precious to him, despite not knowing what it was yet - that made Naruto's stomach clench for one, long uncomfortable moment. It wasn't guilt. But it was an emotion all the same; something other than the cold, hard numb feeling that Naruto experienced normally when he thought about Sasuke. And it scared Naruto so he buried it away, deep inside, in hopes that it would never dare to emerge again. "Thanks, Naruto." The blonde looked up, snapping out of his thought, to see Sasuke shaking the globe and watching the snow float around the miniature house inside.

"You're welcome!" He chirped, voice sounding oddly strangled.

If Sasuke noticed his strange behaviour, he didn't comment on it. The dark-haired boy placed the globe on the table, watched as the snow settled, and grabbed the present that was left under the tree. He handed it over to Naruto and tried to hide how nervous he was. The difference was obvious already. The gift was carefully wrapped in bright orange paper with ramen cups wearing santa hats and a silky blue bow. Naruto almost didn't want to tear the paper - he could only imagine how long it had taken Sasuke to find something like that. Ramen cups on Christmas paper? Really? "Are you going to stare at it for the night or are you actually going to open it?" Sasuke grumbled impatiently.

Naruto didn't need to be told twice. He ripped the paper and revealed a thin black jewellery box. "Jewellery?" He couldn't help but tease.

Sasuke crossed his arms over his chest and turned his face away. "Shut up and open it, moron."

The blonde turned his attention back to the gift and he carefully opened the box. He was almost blinded by the brightness of the crystal inside which hung from a simple black silk cord necklace. It was beautiful in its simplicity. Naruto felt his throat become dry and a tiny part of him, overshadowed by another part which screamed 'this boy deserves to suffer!', wanted nothing more than to go back and swap the tacky snow-globe for something... Better. "Sasuke..." He murmured, unsure of what else to say.

Sasuke stared down at his hands, trying to keep quiet for fear of saying something stupid. Like how he'd tried to find something that had matched the brightness of Naruto's eyes but he couldn't find anything that bright... Where were these thoughts coming from? "The person who sold it to me told me it's able to help a person through the darkest of times and help them to find the light again when they've strayed too far away."

Naruto's lips twitched into a smile. "Sounds like a load of crap to me, teme."

Sasuke smirked. "That's what I told her."

"Will you put it on for me?" The blonde asked, fiddling with the clasp. His tongue was stuck out in concentration.

"Ah... That seems more like something a boyfriend would do for his girlfriend, dobe..." Sasuke replied warily.

Naruto furrowed his brow as he thought about it. "I know but... I can't figure out how to work this stupid thing!" He huffed, pouting slightly as he gave up.

"Idiot," Sasuke scoffed, rolling his eyes. But he gave in quickly enough, "C'mere then."

**xx**

"So what's for Christmas dinner?" Sasuke asked, leaning against the door frame and watching as Naruto busied himself in the kitchen. It was early afternoon but the dark-haired boy had only just woken up.

Naruto looked up, surprised and shrugged his shoulders. "I was thinking ra-"

Sasuke closed his eyes. "Please don't finish that." Naruto obediently stopped mid-sentence and stared at him, confused. "You really are a moron. We can't have ramen for Christmas dinner!" Or any other dinner if Sasuke could help it.

Naruto blinked. "So wh-"

Sasuke interrupted him once again. "You know what? Leave it to me. You're obviously incapable of cooking anything other than your beloved ramen. Now go and do something useful."

The blonde slowly stepped out of his own kitchen, unsure whether to be amused by Sasuke suddenly turning into 'Mr. Mom' or terrified. He shrugged it off and wandered into the living room, clearing up all the wrapping paper they'd left strewn about last night. He frowned as he came across the orange paper which belonged to Neji's present - he had almost forgotten about the Mistletoe. Seeing as Sasuke was busy in the kitchen, it was the perfect time to set up for the next step in the plan...

"Sasuke?" Naruto called out a few minutes later, standing at one side of the doorway which joined the living room to the kitchen. He couldn't believe he was going to do this. "Can you come here a minute?" The blonde listened as Sasuke grumbled but obediently walked towards the doorway, meeting Naruto in the middle. Right under the Mistletoe which Naruto had hung up.

Sasuke, annoyed by the way Naruto was just staring at him, raised an eyebrow and asked, "What is it, loser?" Naruto's eyes travelled up to the Mistletoe, as though he'd only just noticed it. Sasuke followed his gaze and stared in horror. Naruto swallowed his nerves, licked his dry lips and placed a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, stopping him from running away. "It's just a stupid tradition-" Sasuke started.

"Shut up, teme." Sasuke was instantly silent.

Naruto leaned up (mentally cursing Sasuke for being an inch or so taller than him) and, trying not too look too disgusted by what he was about to do, firmly planted his lips on Sasuke's. The hand which had been resting on Sasuke's shoulder, moved to cup his pale cheek without there being any conscious thought behind the action. It was a gentle, chaste kiss which lasted only a few seconds and Sasuke didn't move.

Didn't react.

Certainly didn't respond.

He didn't even _breathe_.

Pulling away, hand dropping back to rest at his side, Naruto wondered if he was disappointed or not.

Sasuke snapped out of his daze and turned away, walking back into the kitchen like nothing out of the ordinary had just happened. "Do you think I'll need to make gravy to go with dinner?" He asked, voice calm and normal.

Naruto felt sick.

**xx**

Naruto had been surprised when Neji invited him to his New Years Party. He vaguely remembered being invited to the same party a couple of years ago. It had been his first time drinking and all the blonde could remember from the night was loud music, flashing lights and a very slurred countdown to the new year. The next day he had woken up back at his apartment with a massive gap in his memory and a killer headache.

Gaara had filled him in on the night though and the most embarrassing thing he'd done was try and play tag... With inanimate objects. Naruto shuddered and swore, as he knocked on the huge front door, that he would _not_ drink as much as that this year.

The party was actually a lot of fun, even when Naruto was only a bit tipsy. He was able to spend a lot of time with his friends and forget all about Sasuke. He hadn't seen or heard from him since Christmas. He had made his excuses to leave as soon as dinner - which was very awkward and quiet - was over. He said something about going to see his family... But hadn't he said they wouldn't be there for Christmas?

A few more drinks later and the party was even more fun for the blonde. He had given up on dancing with Sakura and left her for Lee to deal with. He certainly didn't mind the opportunity to woo his beloved Sakura. Naruto stumbled away from the group of dancers, heading towards the couches so he could sit down. It was getting very close to the countdown already.

"-ooft!"

Naruto was knocked into by one of the many drunken teens, causing him to fly forward. He stumbled over somebody's outstretched leg and landed in a heap on another person's lap. He looked up, opening his mouth to apologise and was met with violet eyes. His hazy mind struggled to catch up. "Neji?" He garbled, sounding a lot more drunk than he really was. When had his speech started to slur so badly?

Neji looked down at the blonde heap that was Naruto, amused more than anything. His nose scrunched up slightly as he caught a whiff of the alcohol on the blonde's breath. "Well... This is all very familiar," he commented.

Naruto's brow furrowed at his words but before he could question him, he was pulled from Neji's lap by an excited Sakura. "They're about to start the countdown!" She said happily, dragging him by the arm to the balcony so they'd be able to see the fireworks clearly.

**xx**

Kiba wrapped his arm around Hinata. He'd made up an excuse about it being 'cold outside' and it was cold, but they both knew it wasn't the reason why Kiba wanted to hold her in his arms. "Are you sure you don't want a drink?" He asked, having to raise his voice slightly to be heard over the music.

Hinata shook her head and stared up at the sky, not wanting to miss the start of the fireworks. "No thanks... I don't like to drink."

**..10..**

Kiba smiled. Hinata was different to all the other girls but that was what he liked about her.

**..9..**

Hinata shifted her gaze towards him. "Do you believe what they say about the New Year kiss?" She asked him, tilting her head to the side.

**..8..**

"What do they say about it?"

**..7..**

"That the person you kiss first at the end of the New Year countdown will be the person you stay with for the whole of the next year."

**..6..**

"Oh? Well... What would I have to do if I wanted somebody to stay with me... Forever?" He asked, looking at her with a meaningful smile.

**..5..**

Hinata blushed bright red. "Y-You wouldn't have to d-do anything... Just b-be yourself," she stuttered, embarrassed.

Kiba held her close and whispered into her ear, "If I kiss you after the countdown every year... Can I stay with you forever, Hina?"

Hinata closed her eyes, smiled prettily and nodded her head. "Forever," she agreed softly. No stuttering or stumbling over her words.

**xx**

**..4..**

Sasuke pushed his way through the crowds, looking for the familiar head of blonde hair. He'd been unable to get Naruto out of his mind, ever since he'd kissed him... It was like an obsession. He dreamt about him, the less than innocent dreams which had only matured since he was twelve years old. He couldn't hide behind the excuse of 'out of control hormones' for the rest of his life.

**..3..**

He wasn't sure what it was. He just knew he needed to find him, talk to him...

**..2..**

Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the shoulder and turned him round. Anything he'd planned on saying, died on his lips in that moment. He couldn't control his actions as he leant in towards his best friend, eyes closing.

**..1..**

He could feel Naruto's hot breath brush teasingly across his lips, he shut off his thoughts completely and-

**end chapter 4**

* * *

**xx**

A/N: Heh, sorry about the slightly abrupt ending folks! I just figured at the end of the countdown it would be January 1st... And this chapter was December only, I'm afraid! Wooo! I'm so happy to have finished this chapter - I know I took ages! T_T

Also, it's 5:25 in the morning where I am so if you see any stupid mistakes... Please tell me? xD

Does the length make up for it? 8,000 words *faints from shock* and there was a lot of SasuNaru interaction in this one. I know you might think things are moving fast but every chapter is a month and I try and make it as clear as possible that I only really write snippets of what happens in that month - does that make any sense? D:

OH! I've started roleplaying as Naruto over on Bebo again if you want to check that out? Feel free to PM me if you're interested in roleplaying with me! You don't have to be a super-awesome writer or anything. It's just for fun, really! The link is on my profile if you just want to have a nosey at my account and see what it is. And if you want to give it a try, but don't know how or what it's all about, I'm more than willing to help you out/ give you info! *wants more people to roleplay with* (:

Again, I'm sorry for the super-late reply! I'll see you guys when I upload chapter 5.


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